So what does a family of four with absolutely no free time on their hands do? Take a trip to Disney, of course. Tim had to travel for fall taekwondo nationals, so we booked an extra four days onto the end of his trip, and the kids and I flew down to meet him. When we booked the trip, I don't think we anticipated how crazy our fall was going to be. Tim had no idea that he would be acquiring a second school, and I didn't think that my semester would be so busy. But once the tickets were booked, we had to go. And I'm really glad that we did, because I loove Disney (or Dis-e-ney, as Mac says), no matter how short the trip or busy our schedule.
One thing that was interesting about this trip was that Oli's spina bifida became an external focus. That is, it affected the decisions we made about the trip. At first, it didn't even occur to me that this trip might be a little different. But as I started packing, I realized I would have to choose which braces he would wear. Little ones, because he would be lighter and therefore easier to transport through the airport, or big ones, because checking them in the luggage could result in damage to the braces? I opted for his big braces, because I did not want to take the chance that they would get damaged in the luggage.
While this was the right choice, it also led to complications. First, he was much heavier to carry through security (after I took out my laptop, took off everyone's shoes, and disassembled the double stroller). Next, he set off the metal detector. So we had to step to the side and be wanded. Seriously. They were nice about it, and there was no cavity search involved, but both Oli and I had to be swiped with the wand to make sure that we weren't carrying anything onto the plane. Of course, Mac is walking around us on the dirty airport floor, asking "why?" and not wearing shoes, during the entire process.
After that, it was pretty easy going. We met up with Tim, had delicious dinner, and planned our next day at MGM studios. Towards the end of the day, we were waiting on a pretty long line for the Toy Story ride, and Tim and I were switching off holding Oli. At this point of the day (since we had already done it several times) it occurred to me that most kids Oli's age (and size) would be standing in line with their parents for at least some of the time. At that point, I realized that we actually qualify for disability status, and should be entering through the handicap entrance on the rides.
I had mixed feelings about this realization. Although I am all about embracing Oli's spina bifida, and creating a "new normal" where whatever works for him is our reality, I've never been confronted with fitting him into a public category, or using public resources specific to his condition. I'm not explaining this quite right, since we do use public resources (early intervention) and I do participate in spina bifida events. But it was sort of weird to actually go up to guest services the next day and request and "handicapped" pass. Maybe because the word "handicapped" has such a negative connotation to it, and that isn't how I see Oli? And using that pass lumps him into a category that is defined by negative definitions/stereotypes? Or maybe just because it was a public declaration that he fits into a category other than "normal?" My usual cry of "empowerment" was temporarily sidelined by this inner conflict, of wanting to embrace his differences and at the same time wishing he didn't have to deal with this. And realizing that as he gets older, his differences are going to become more pronounced.
So it was with these mixed feelings that we went to guest relations, explained our situation, and got a sticker that allowed us to use his stroller as a wheelchair. The first ride we went on was Small World, and they had to stop the ride so we could fill an entire boat with people from the "disabled" line. We were a spectacle, which only compounded my ambivalent feelings. But after that ride, we were able to get on everything the same way everyone else did, but by using a different queue. It actually made our second day a lot easier. We did get to skip to the front of some lines (!), but even when we didn't, we got to wheel Oli through the line in his stroller, rather than taking him out and carrying him through the line. I'm sure this saved him some frustration, as well as my back.
On the way back from Florida, I used my lessons learned from the flight to Florida and took Oli's braces off and put them through x-ray. A pain, yes, but better than getting wanded. Although I don't know what we will do when Oli is older, and is perhaps walking through security using a walker or crutches. Will he need to get wanded every time? Although I see the necessity, it is also sort of degrading. Our trip was a lot of fun, but it was also an eye opener to the fact that no matter how much we embrace Oli's differences and accept them as our normal, operating in the "real world" may not always be a normal experience.
