Some days are more difficult than others...
Actually, it backs up farther than just today. On Saturday, we noticed that Oliver was kind of jerking, or twitching, a little bit. It's been happening every day since -- some days more than others. Sometimes it is just slight, other times it happens for a few seconds. He looks okay while it is happening (other than the fact that he is twitching), but it is still unnerving. So I mentioned it when he went for his recheck at the pediatrician yesterday. Although they couldn't say what is was one way or the other, they did order an EEG to be on the safe side. We opted to stay local, since CHOP neurology (as opposed to Neurosurgery, which is where is already goes) has a ridiculously long wait time to get in. We were able to get an appointment for the EEG today. Luckily, it fell right in between my 2 classes. The EEG went smoothly. They said if there was anything alarming, they would call today. Otherwise, the neurologist is supposed to call tomorrow with an appointment for next week. Luckily, I got no calls today. But I'm still anxious to see if anything showed up. And if it didn't, what is causing the movement?
So after the EEG, I had to go give my Kean students their exam. As they haven't been performing so well, the exam was a stress point for both them and me.
Got home, picked up Mac, who did not want to leave Nanny's. For someone with such frenetic energy, Mac moves like molasses. Seriously, if you are in a rush (which I always am) you do not want to have to wait for Mac. I finally motivate her out of Nanny's house, get home, and start to cook dinner. I was making smothered Salmon, which basically consists of salmon covered in tomatoes, onions, a small amount of jalapeno pepper, and garlic. While I'm cooking, Oliver starts to cry. I figure he's hungry, but that he can wait until I am done cooking. Dinner is ready -- I set Mac up with her plate and start to feed Oliver. He cries every time I take the spoon out of his mouth to put more food on it. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, Mac starts bawling. Not her whiny cry, but a serious cry. She says her mouth hurts. My first thought is fish bone. Even though I understand the Heimlich in theory, I'm not sure how it would play out if I had to try it. I pray that I never have to find out. And I realize that if she was crying, she wasn't choking, but I was still scared. But then she said it was her cheek. So I took a look inside. I couldn't tell for sure, but I thought I saw some raised skin, like when you bite the inside of your cheek. And that makes me think coxsackie, a disgusting sounding virus that some kids at Mac's school had a few weeks ago. She just got off of antibiotics for a sinus infection, but you never know. She just kept crying, so I finally called my mom. Not that she could do anything, since she was on her way to DC, but I had to ask someone something.
When I explained what we were eating, my mom pointed out that it could have been the peppers in the food. Duh. Who feeds a 3 year old a dish with jalapeno pepper in it? Seriously, what a dumb idea. So I'm still not sure what it was. Mac was still complaining (but not crying) when I put her to bed. Not sure that I could rule out anything, I've been checking on her to make sure she is okay while she sleeps. She seems okay. There is no better sound in the world than the sound of your child breathing peacefully.
I'm not complaining, I'm just venting. It's not that I'm stressed out by my kids (this time). It's the opposite; I've found that being a mom makes you so emotionally vulnerable. The idea of anything bad happening to them is absolutely heart-stopping. And I don't mean to make Oliver's EEG all about me -- that is obviously about far more than how it affects my stress level. I just want what is best for him -- for both of them. When we were having the EEG today, the tech had never heard of spina bifida. When we explained it, she said "But he will get feeling in his legs eventually, right?" It was kind of hard to answer no. Sometimes I realize what a tough road he may have. When we went food shopping the other day, he couldn't sit in the cart as well as I thought he should. He kept leaning backwards. Why? Does he need more physical therapy? Occupational therapy? Do I just need to exercise him more? So many questions. And even though we've been blessed so far with good health for Mac, I never want to take her health for granted. So I check on them at night, pray for them, and hope that they turn out okay.
And, of course, ever since I heard that stress makes you retain belly fat, I stress about that a few times a day. Kind of counterproductive, but what else is new?
