One of the things that has been missing since we have moved is a regular church to go to. I was very involved in my old church, teaching sunday school and attending services every week. The kids were happy there, and received a good education rooted in the Bible. They had friends, and we would often spend all of sunday morning there.
When we moved here, I was on the lookout for a church right away. I looked up Methodist churches, since that is what we were attending in NJ, and I found one in nearby Chestnut Hill. After browsing through their site, I was impressed with their focus on diversity and inclusiveness. After attending a service, I was thrilled to find that they do pull out sunday school for the kids (which means I don't have to try to get the kids to sit through service, which I don't think that they could do), but they also are so committed to diversity that they have a LGBT group. However, in talking to some members of the congregation after service (including a co-worker who coincidentally attends), they told me how great it was that they didn't focus too much on affirmations and other God-related parts of church. I was nonplussed -- what is the point of church if you don't focus on God. So although I have attended 2 services since, I have done so with skepticism. This church has many great elements, but may be lacking in the fundamentals.
In the meantime, we spent 2 weekends in NJ, during which I went to a really cool Methodist church with Beth near her house. But that is not an option for regular attendance for me, since we now live pretty far apart.
I have also tried an evangelical Presbyterian church near my house on Christmas and was not impressed. I tried another nearby Methodist church, but they don't have anything for the kids to do during service and the whole thing felt a little awkward. Plus, Mackensie had a tremendous tantrum when we left (they leave stuffed animals in the pews for kids to play with during service, and of course, she wanted to bring it home), so I don't know if we can ever go back there. Finally, this past week, I tried the local Catholic church on my own. It was recommended by my aunt, whose niece and nephew on my uncle's side, attend. It was big and lovely -- I haven't seen so many people in church in a long time. It seems active and thriving, but with 2 drawbacks: 1)I'm not sure I want to return to Catholicism. I think I like the methodist interpretation of service and our relationship with God (direct rather than mediated through a priest), and I know that I don't like the Catholic church's refusal to let women have positions of power and absolute stance against homosexuality. That said, I know that the Catholic church has many great things to offer, and this church in particular seemed really cool. I could see raising the kids there and having them become active members of the congregation. However, drawback #2 was 2) no christian education on Sunday. Kids have to (gulp) sit through service with the exception of @ 20 minutes when the younger kids are pulled out for kids message. By the end of mass, it was quite loud with all of the stirrings and grumblings of the youth. If other people's kids can't make it through, I know mine can't. And to separate out education from the day of worship seems like an extra step that we might not be able to consistently make. But maybe the plusses outweigh the minuses.
Ultimately, this search has become much more than just picking a new congregation. It has become about reaffirming what I believe, and choosing how I want the kids to be raised spiritually. I love what the Chestnut Hill church stands for, but when I read that their website says that they don't take the Bible literally, I was taken aback. However, when I think about it, how literally do I take the Bible? I know that my faith is strong, and because of that, I minimize inconsistencies between what I believe and what the Bible says. And, as the minister pointed out to me this morning, the Bible itself has inconsistencies (she mentioned 2 creation stories, which I was not aware of, but I didn't ask). But I am still somehow afraid that I am taking the "easy way out" if I view the Bible as open to interpretations. At the same time, I know that there are things that I don't agree with (stance on homosexuality) or adhere to (women covering their heads in public), so to choose a church that takes it literally while still staying true to my beliefs is somewhat problematic.
Ironically, since I started writing this post (over a span of 2 days, it's not like the phone rang mid-post. That would have been cool, though...) the pastor from the chestnut hill church just called to discuss me becoming a member. I gave her my questions and objections, and she answered them pretty well. She did say that it is a Christian church and that "Jesus is our guy." She said that they believe the Bible is inspired by God, but that God is still revealing himself to us, and that we have to use the Bible as a guide with that revelation, not an absolute. She told me that the christian education does emphasize the bible, but that rather than covering many stories, they stay with the same story for 4 weeks and approach it from different learning methods. It all sounded good, but I am still not 100% sold. However, she invited me to continue the dialogue any time, and told me that the other pastor actually teaches seminary at a great school in NY, so I am thinking that I could also talk to him about how to read the Bible as a both a literal, an an interpretive, text.
I still don't know what to do. For me, faith has been a journey that has taken many paths. I have been strengthened in it by many different people, and I feel that everyplace I have stopped has been worthwhile. So I am not afraid to take a detour for myself. However, I know the way that I was raised in faith has been a cornerstone of my journey; something to compare everything else to. I want to make sure that I give Mac and Oli the same advantage of having a strong, solid, and secure idea of faith to serve as their cornerstone throughout their own journeys. Which path is next?
