Preparing for a Happy New Year

It's been quite a busy and wonderful year.

Welcoming Oliver into the family has been exciting beyond words. It's hard to imagine that this time last year he was just a tiny little bean waiting to be born. We had no idea what was to come. Getting his diagnosis was momentarily devastating; we had to mourn the baby we thought we'd have and then accept the baby that we were going to have. For me, that took the first weekend of getting the news -- after that, I didn't look back. Once we hooked up with CHOP, things went pretty quickly. All of the visits and uncertainty and waiting and praying that took us up to the birth of our little boy seems like a blur now. But when I sit back and reflect, the change in our lives is amazing. We are parents of a special needs child -- part of a new group, a new subset of society with a whole new vocabulary and priorities. But most importantly, we are the parents of a perfect, sweet, amazing little boy. In all of my prayers, I could not have asked for a more perfect son.

Watching Mac grow from a little toddler into a full-fledged little girl has been an amazing (and tiring!) process. It's hard to even remember, but I don't think that she was talking much this time last year. Now, she is the most articulate, most impressive little girl. She "reads" books, tells stories, reasons with me, argues with me, and absorbs everything. In my wildest dreams, I could not imagine a smarter, sweeter, more amazing daughter.

Tim and I have spent another year together -- we're going on seven! In some ways, that doesn't seem like nearly long enough for all that has gone on, but in other ways it has been a lifetime. Even though we don't see each other as often as we should (or maybe because of :) we continue to love each other and learn a lot about being married. Sometimes the learning isn't easy or fun, but I have to think that it counts for something.

I even got a job offer, which I have been stressing about basically since half-way through the PhD program. We turned the garage into an office and a playroom. Tim has remodeled the school. We have tunred a thousand tiny corners this year in order to bring us to 2008. God has been with us and kept us safe and close. We are both blessed and grateful.

Looking forward, I hope for health, happiness, and a little organization!

Happy Holidays!

I really love that Christmas extends all the way to New Year's. The tree is still up and there is still tissue paper strewn everywhere. Christmas is still here!

We have not even chipped away at getting all of Mac's gifts a) open and b) put away. But I like to leave things under the tree for a week -- it keeps that fresh Christmas feeling. The rest of our Christmas day was a lot of fun -- we had lunch at the Volk house and dinner with the Chewning parents. Even though it was busy it was a lot of fun. One of Mac's big gifts was an indoor bouncing thing. Watching her bounce on it is one of the funniest things that I have ever seen.

But even during Christmastime, the real world creeps in. Both of Oliver's casts fell off, so we had to go back down to CHOP the day after Christmas. And then they fell off the next day. So he is now castless again. This really aggravates me, because he just had the surgery. It is more important than ever that the feet get held in the right position, and now the most I can do is stretch them out a few times a day. After next Wednesday this won't be an issue because he gets his braces, but a week is really too long to go without any extra support on the feet.

And falling into the great news category -- I got a job offer from Penn State. I'm really excited. I'm trying to work out some insurance issues, but I will probably take the job. Of course, I also want to know if Montclair (where I had my other interview) is planning on calling me back. So I'm trying to stretch out my response to Penn State and get in touch with Montclair. Very stressful -- I'm not a negotiator. And I'm so not slick. I've been told that you are supposed to negotiate salary and I really have no idea how to do it. But these issues aside, I'm just really relieved to have gotten an offer. It will make this coming semester so much easier and less stressful.

Tim is remodelng the karate school from top to bottom. He is conducting an intense, one-week construction-a-thon in order to get it done before he reopens on January 2. It sucks, because I haven't seen him for more than an hour a day since last Friday (other than onChristmas Eve and Christmas). But it will be well worth it when he is done.

I know, I know...pictures would illustrate all of this much better. I still have no quick way to get the photos onto the computer. But they are coming, and they are cute!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

We just finished opening our gifts. I think that everyone is happy :) It's been such a great holiday so far. On Christmas Eve, it is our tradition to get together with my grandma, aunt, uncle and cousins. We do this with my mom, since it is her side of the family. This year we went up there (we take turns). It was so much fun -- everything was perfect. Dinner was great, and we had fondue for dessert. That is a new tradition that I hope we keep up from now on. Anyway, we all got great gifts, but Mac really got a lot of cool stuff. She was so excited that when she woke up this morning, she asked for her new dolls first thing. She wanted her gifts, but I don't think she understood that she actually got new gifts today. So when she realized that she got new gifts here, too, she was really excited. Even Oliver seemed excited by the teething ring in his stocking.

Another Big Day

So Oliver had another big day yesterday --spina bifida clinic at CHOP. SB clinic is a day where we go down and he sees everybody -- neursurgery, clinic nurse, pediatrician, physical therapist, social worker, and orthopedics. Whew. Grandma made the trip down with us, so we had some good company to get us through the day. We saw neurosurgery first, becasue his home pediatrician thought that he saw sundowning of Oliver's eyes at his 4 month check-up on Monday. Sundowning is when the eyes slide down, leaving a lot of white showing at the top. This is one of the signs of hydrocephelus, which would indicate the need for a shunt. I didn't really see it, but was still pretty nervous. After he was evaluated by neuro, they said that they didn't see anything wrong, and that any sign, especially sundowning, would be much more pronounced. One of those things that you can't mistake for anything else. So we got a thumbs-up from neuro.

We bopped around to the rest of the doctors after that. The pediatrician was someone we hadn't seen before and was very nice. The clinic nurse and physical therapist hardly spent any time with us at all - I guess there wasn't much to say. In orthopedics, he got fitted for his braces. After January 2, Oliver will be out of casts and will wear his new braces indefinitely. At first, he got fitted for very cumbersome casts -- there were two sandals joined by a bar. So his legs would actually be attached to each other. I was soo upset. But when we saw the doctor, he said that he'd ordered the wrong kind, and that his braces would actually just be plastic sleeves that hold the feet in position, much like his casts do. I was much happier after that.

When all was said and done, we were there from 10 am to 6:30 pm. A long but fulfilling day. Oliver seemed no worse for the wear. I, on the other hand, was pretty tired.

Speaking of a big day, I'm going out to happy hour for the first time in, um, I actaully don't know how long. I used to be the happy hour queen! Ages 22-27 basically were happy hour. In all honesty, my friend Lynn and I shared the title. We could turn happy hour into happy 7 hours. Aah, the good old days; it's a shame I don't remember all of them that clearly. Lynn is coming home for a visit from her posh new LA digs and we're going to hit the bar with our other friends from the Jewish News. It will be like old times, except for the fact that I can't drink that much because I'm breastfeeding and I have to be home by 9. But other than that, really, just like old times.

My Policy on Monsters

I have to decide on my monster policy. Mac is newly obsessed and sees them everywhere. So I ask:

Is there no such thing as monsters or do monsters exist but are fundamentally nice and don't hurt children?

I can't decide which is the better route to take. Do I deny childhood imagination in an attempt to nip this in the bud, or indulge but create a whole system in which monsters are nice and won't hurt her? And of course if there are nice monsters, that leaves room for evil, child-eating ones, as well. Tim says we should go with the former, but Mac seems wholly unconvinced when I tell her that and continues to point them out to me ("Do you see it over there -- the blue monster?"). I've tried to dodge it altogether until I decide which is the better tact to take.

Not that Mac couldn't kick the ass of any monster that came after her. Seriously, if she only knew how formidable she really is, we'd all be in trouble.

Actually, I suspect she knows...

It's official...

I'm one of those people. I actually got up this morning at 6 a.m. to go wait in line at Target for a Wii system. What a dumbass. But I got one! I hate the whole process of buying into this season's hottest gift -- it smacks of unoriginality and blatant consumerism. But I knew it was the perfect gift for Tim and I've been wanting to get it for quite some time now. Luckily there was no pushing and shoving, and I kind of bonded with the other people in line. It actually wasn't that bad. And I feel so good that most of my Christmas shopping is now done. But I still can't help feeling just a little bit dirty and used by the whole experience.

Of course, the second I got home I yelled at Tim for not having his phone on (I needed to get in touch with him and couldn't, as usual). Kind of defeats the purpose of getting up and doing something nice for him.

Please Pray with Me...

For my online friend Katie. Her 7 year old son is going through a slow process of illness that will likely soon end in his death. Please pray for his easy passing and the family's peace. Here is her amazing story if you are interested: http://ramblingmomtomany.blogspot.com/. We both have kids born in February 2005 and met on our baby board on Babycenter. She is a really great person and it is so sad to see what she is going through.

Happy Birthday!

Yesterday was Oliver's 4 month birthday. I can't believe he is this big already.It already feels as if he has been here forever -- I can't picture what it was like without him. He is growing so well -- not only is he putting on a ton of weight, but he also is smiling and laughing and has such a great little personality. At 4 months, he is already his own little person. He has adorable habits like reaching out to grab my face and trying to eat his fist. I'm so familiar with the way he eats, sleeps, plays, and feels -- he does each of these things in his own special way. He responds to my voice and looks at me in such an incredibly cute way. We are so blessed to have him.

And while I'm counting our blessings -- today is Tim's birthday! The big 2-9. He thinks he's getting old, but 29 isn't so bad. I feel bad that I don't have his gift -- I've been trying to find a Wii as a combined birthday/Christmas gift, but I can't get one anywhere. It's like a cabbage patch doll or something. The funny thing is that I had this idea months ago but figured it would be no big deal to pick it up closer to the holidays. The joke is on me. I'm actually going to go wait in line at Toys R Us on Sunday morning because I heard that they will have a shipment. I always thought the first time I did that it would be for one of my kids, not my husband. But I think that he will be so excited, so I really hope that I can get it.

Not much else is new. We're waiting for the possible snow storm tomorrow. I can't decide if I want a lot of snow or not. I remember about 5 or 6 years ago when my biggest concern over getting snowed in was whether or not I had enough liquor in the house to sustain me through a day or two of Real World marathons. Now I have to make sure that we have enough food, activities, and energy to play in the snow. Ah - how times change. Mama's all grown up now.

PS -- This is what happens when we try to pose for holiday pictures in our house.

Oli Houdini

So Oliver's cast did fall off. The good news is that the orthodpedist on call at CHOP said it's no big deal and happens all of the time. The better news is that the incision doesn't look so bad. The bad news is that this means a Monday trip down to Philly. The doctor has started to call him Houdini.

Mr. Houdini was also pretty fussy last night -- so much so that we wound up giving him his pain medication. The fussiness didn't start until after his cast fell off, so we were wondering if maybe the foot being loose and able to flop around made it hurt a little bit either down in the foot area (wouldn't that be nice?) or maybe somehow pain was going up the leg. We're not sure, but Oliver was crankier last night than I have ever seen him. I couldn't put him down for even a second. It made me so sad when Tim finally said we should give him the pain medicine -- to think that he would have been in pain all night before we gave it to him made me feel so bad. But, logically, he shouldn't have pain, and I don't want to give him such strong medication for no reason.

It could have also been gas. He was a pretty gassy last night. If it was only gas, that would be the strongest medicine ever given for a gassy stomach.

Whatever it was, it worked and he finally fell asleep after eating again. Hopefully today will be better.

Home Again, Home Again

So we made it through the whole week! Most importantly, Oliver's surgery went well. But the rest of the week was pretty exciting, too.

First things first -- how is Oliver? He is doing really well! We were able to take him home that day. Which seemed great at the time, but at about 3 a.m. seemed like a horrible idea. He woke up with such a scratchy, wheezy throat that we almost took him to the emergency room. It was probably from the breathing tube that they used during surgery, but it just sounded so bad. But since he was able to eat, I figured his airway must be clear. So we waited it out and he was fine. We also realized, thanks to my mom, that the Oxycontin pain medication they prescribed was unnecessary since he has no feeling below his knees. Thank goodness I only gave him one dose before we realized this. So he has been med-free since Thursday night and he seems to be fine. It's always a little disappointing to get more confirmation that he really has no feeling down there. Of course I know it to be true, but sometimes wonder if maybe they were wrong and that he has a little sensation. I think that this proves beyond a doubt that he doesn't. But he is healthy, alert, and suffering no side-effects of anesthesia, so I proclaim the surgery a huge success!! Of course, one cast seems to be sliding down already, so I suspect our two-week follow up might turn into a one-week visit.

Wednesday I had my Penn State interview, which I think went really well. It was at the Abington College campus, which is located in Eastern PA., about an hour from our house. It is a beautiful campus. It was once an elite women's college attended by Amelia Earhart, among others. It is a much smaller school than I am used to. Although it is part of the Penn State system, it is also sort of a stand alone school. I would liken it maybe to Rutgers Camden (but probably safer). So the academic rigor isn't as great, but they are really nice people who seem interested in letting whoever they hire (me! me!) develop a good research agenda as well as teach. I liked the people who did the interviewing, and they seemed to like me. I also had to teach a class on PR theory, which actually went really well. All in all it was a good day. They told me I can expect to hear back anywhere from next week through mid-January.

On my way home from Penn State, I got a call from Montclair State University. They said that I had made it to their short list and that they wanted to schedule a phone interview for FRIDAY! So of course I said yes, even though Friday was already packed with my pre-proposal presentation. But how could I turn down an interview? So Friday morning I "met" with 4 faculty members from Montclair State for a 30-minute phone interview. They are a bit of a bigger school with more of a research focus than Penn State Abington. They seem to follow the Rutgers model of expectations a lot more than Penn State. So more opportunity and a larger department of colleagues, but less time to develop my own interests and/or have down time with my family. I didn't get into a discussion of pay with them, but I suspect I could also make a bit more money there. Of course, I have to get the job first. They said that they would further narrow down their list, and get back to candidates in late January - mid-February. The interview went really well, but I think that not having my dissertation done might have counted against me, so I'm not sure what to expect. More waiting.

Finally, I had my pre-proposal presentation on Friday afternoon. Basically, I just presented what I have written so far of my dissertation in front of faculty and colleagues at school. Luckily, it was a small audience. As I watched the person before me struggle through her presentation and then get totally blasted with questions, I just sank lower and lower into my chair. I could sense no good presentation karma coming my way. I hadn't really had time to practice (at all!) and figured I was about to pay for it. But it wound up going really well. I was able to get through the presentation and answer any questions that people posed. I had one or two GLARING typos in my PowerPoint ("two" instead of "to" -- I don't even know how I did that!), but it worked out okay. So now I am onto the next phase of my dissertation. It's a sort of false milestone, kind of like graduating from Kindergarten, but still one that I needed to get through in order to get done. So now I'm on my way!

Waiting...

So we're in the Surgical Waiting Center at CHOP, waiting for Oliver to come out of surgery. He was such a good little baby while we waited for the surgery to begin. He couldn't eat after 6 a.m. so I woke up at 5 to feed him and then went back to sleep until 6:30 or so. Then we got up and got ready to leave. I had to give Oliver a bath, since I didn't know how long the casts were going to be on him after the surgery. We haven't had casts on for 2 weeks now and it's been so nice. I can give him baths, and I love to see his little feet! After his bath he got his neublizer treatement. Tim's mom came over and brought us coffee, which was great. We were just about to leave when Mac woke up. She was so cute -- she had to give her little brother so many kisses before he left. I don't usually tell her that we are going to the doctor/hospital for Oliver -- she never asks, I never tell. But she found out today and seemed to sad to see him go. But by the time we left she was happy to spend the day (and have a sleepover) with Nanny Nancy.

We got to CHOP 10 minutes late. Not too bad for us. Each time we're late for something here I'm so nervous, but then we sit around and wait. And that's what we did today. We waited for about 45 minutes before they called us into our little pre-op cubby. Then they took his medical history again, and weighed him to be sure the anesthesia level was correct. The little porkchop has gained almost a pound since his weigh in 2 weeks ago. This brings him to 7 1/2 pounds in just under 4 months!

The anesthesiologist just came out and told me that they are done and everything is fine. We can go see him soon! They warned me that because of his "well-fed state," they couldn't get the IV in so he is a bit bruised. Poor little man. But he didn't feel it because he was already asleep. And now the doctor came out and told us that all went well. They released the tendons and his feet are at a 90 degree angle. We have to bring him back in 2 weeks for new casts. I can't wait to go see him!

Since our wait was cut short, you'll be spared my description of all of the great things that CHOP has to offer parents -- for now. Let's just say that if you have the "parent bracelet" you get free coffee at the McDonald's downstairs. Could you imagine if it was a Starbucks -- I'd never leave!

As if life wasn't exciting enough...

It's snowing!
Mac has started to use the potty!
I got bangs!

Ooh-di-lolly!

We've Got to Keep on Movin'

We have a potentially busy week ahead. Hopefully everything will fall into place, but I feel like with us, you never know.

Oliver is sick (again). I took him to the dr. last Saturday and they told us he had a head cold. So I've been suctioning his little boogies with a nasal aspirator (I'll admit -- I kind of like it) and keeping the humidifier on all night. But it sounded like it had started to progress to a chest cold, so I took him to the dr. today, and it turns out he has a little wheezing. So it's back on the nebulizer for our little man. This normally wouldn't be too bad, but he has his surgery scheduled for next Thursday. If he has even a little congestion, they won't do it because he won't be able to go under anesthesia.

I have mixed feelings because while I'm not really looking forward to the surgery, I want him to have it. I am petrified of him going under anesthesia, even though he has already done it once and been fine. Although I am a big believer in and very trusting of the medical profession in general, I'm really starting to feel like less is more. Less medicine, less intrusion, less vaccinations. Ironic timing for this frame of mind, since we are constantly taking Oliver to the doctor for something. Since the surgery is only on his feet, I wonder if the risks are worth it. According to the dr. they definitely are. It sounds like the risks are actually minimal -- I'm just scared. And if we ever want him to have a chance at using braces to be mobile, it has to be done. I just hate the thought of putting a little baby, my little baby, under anesthesia.

So, Tuesday we take him in to the pediatrician for a recheck to make sure he is okay for surgery.

Wednesday I am heading out to Penn State Abington for my first on-campus interview! I'm so excited. I had a preliminary interview with them at the conference in Chicago and they called me back last night. So I have an interview with the chancellor, the search committee, and I have to teach a 45 minutes class in PR theory. Um...I don't really know what PR theory is. I have this weekend to figure it out.

Thursday, if we are lucky*, we have surgery (* indicates that the word "lucky" is used cautiously -- reference my rant above)

Friday holds more contingent plans. If I am lucky (and this time I use the term unreservedly) I get to present my pre-proposal, which is the first part of my dissertation. According to my committe chair, it is finally ready for semi-public consumption. This is pending approval of my second committee member, but Marya (my chair) was confident enough to put me on the schedule. So... yay!

On Saturday we have a birthday party for our friend Cole. He is the adorable son of my college roommate, Julia, and he is turning 3. I love for Mac to get in the playtime, and it gives me a chance to catch up with Julia. My other roommate Dana will be there with her 3 cuties, so I'm really looking forward to it.

On Sunday, Tim and I have a date!! This never happens. We are going to have dinner and go Christmas shopping for our little ones. This is the first time we have shopped together -- usually I pick out everything online. But now that Mac is older and wants every single thing she sees on TV, I feel like we have to shop and weigh our options in person.

And I have to fit in time to work next week, too. Luckily, much of that is mobile.

Okay, so I realize that this might be a bit too close of a look into our lives. Basically the only thing I left out is what I ate for breakfast this morning (oatmeal and starbucks). But I'm bursting at the seams with everything that is going on. Stress level on high, excitement notched up, and the only person home to ramble to is Oliver. He is a very good listener, but he is asleep (maybe he's pretending so he doesn't have to listen to me talk). So please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, and by the end of next weekend, we could have a job, successful surgery, a dissertation milestone, and a treeful of Christmas gifts.

Fall in Photos

So if you've been wondering where the photos have been, let me remind you about the computer crash of '07 that took with it my photo-sharing software. I'm not one to name names, but Tim lost the original disc, so I've had tons of photos stuck on my camera. Well no more! I hauled my butt to CVS and made a photo CD. So without further ado, here is our Fall in Photos.

2 1/2 is a precocious age...

Evidence that Oliver does sleep.

Family Parties

Pumpkin Picking

Happy Halloween! Note the difference between last year's princess and this year's super hero...

At Christine & Jeffery's wedding -- Mac was the flower girl.

Look at the size difference between August and November!

Happy Thanksgiving!

My Kind of Town

So here I am in Chicago. I'm at a communication conference for school. Before I left, my heart was breaking. I couldn't imagine being away from the family for even 2 days. Especially since I'm still breastfeeding Oliver -- we really do have a special physical bond. I really do like this conference, though, so I knew that once I got here it would be okay. I love to fly, especially alone. Isn't that weird? I guess it makes me feel like a grown up. And it gives me a chance to veg out and do whatever I want. I love hotels, too. We are staying in the Hilton, which is sooo nice. Although I hate giving even a dime to the Hilton empire, because in my mind, it all ends up being funneled to Paris and her dog Tinkerbell. Really, for all of the money that family has, they should just let us all stay here for free. But if we have to pay, it is kind of worth it. The bed is so soft -- even the carpets are ridiculously plush. And in what is the coolest thing ever (especially given my recent and growing obsession) the downstairs bar turns into a Starbucks in the morning!!

The conference itself is also pretty good. There are tons and tons of "sessions" to go to in which 3-4 people present papers that they have written. Each session is, of course, centered around a theme. You can just go through the program and put together a schedule of pretty interesting stuff. You can also make sure that you go to sessions of people whose work you have read for research or in class. Really cool in a geeky kind of way. The conference is also a really good time to catch up with friends that I don't get to see very often. It has been really great seeing everyone that I miss for the other 51 weeks of the year. And I'm getting used to presenting papers, too. I co-presented yesterday and it went pretty well. I'm even having drinks -- woo hoo! And there are parties to go to. And a job fair for those of us desperately in need of a job -- I even have an interview set up for this morning. All in all, it's a combination of fun and work packed into a very short window of time.

However, all of my mom instincts are not gone. I'm pumping breastmilk like crazy -- I am truly a woman obsessed. So even though I am drinking, I weigh each drink carefully, just so that I don't have to dump too much milk. And I'm locking myself in the hotel room for a while this afternoon just so that I can get work done on my dissertation. No use wasting time having fun -- if I have 3 hours without distraction, I need to use it for work!

My Daughter the Comedianne

It turns out that kids really do say the funniest thing. And Mackensie has been on a role.

I may have mentioned in the past that dealing with a 2 year old brings out more lying, cajoling, and bargaining than any self-respecting adult should really deal in. I'm not proud to say it, but when Mac is being completely intractable, we take away toys. The other day, Tim came up with a new threat: calling Santa to tell him to take a toy off of Mac's list. So we actually get out the cell phone and have a full conversation with Santa while she stands there. I'm not crazy about this because I've wanted to minimize any mention of Santa. I don't really like Santa for 2 reasons: 1 -- Santa is not what the holiday is about at all and 2 -- it's a lie that really has no purpose. Why can't she just know that we bring the gifts? Of course, nobody else agrees with me, so she thinks there is a Santa Claus.

So after an especially difficult trip to the library in which Mac ran around the entire perimeter while I chased her with Oliver's car seat in tow, I decided to pull the Santa card. I called Santa and told him to take 2 toys off of her list (I was really pissed). This was in the library parking lot. We got into the car, drove to the mall, and came home about 2 hours later. While we were in the kitchen getting ready for dinner, I saw her on one of her "phones." I didn't pay attention until I heard her say Santa. She was calling Santa. I thought she was telling on herself (she's at that age where she will still tell you that she did something bad), but then I heard her say "mommy" and "she hit me." It was then I realized that she called Santa on me. And she was lying. I didn't hit her! She continued to stand there and have a conversation with Santa, full with pauses for him to respond, in which she told on me. Even though it was frustrating, I thought it was pretty funny and clever. And, of course, picture her doing all of this with a summer dress over her sweatsuit, because even though it is 50 degrees, she won't go anywhere without a "pretty dress."

Meanwhile, Oliver is doing well! He had an appointment with neurosurgery and they confirmed that he still doesn't need a shunt. And for the first time, they actually said "Maybe he will be one of the few who doesn't need one." This is huge, because the last two times they warned me that even though he didn't need one yet, he would probably need one in the long run. And he only has one more casting session before his surgery in December. I'm not really looking forward to that, but I guess it is better to get it out of the way when he won't remember it. He also started his in-home physical therapy this week. It was pretty cool -- he had some tummy time and was able to boost himself up on his little arms. It was really great to see him making such good progress. And he is just such a pleasure -- he smiles and coos all the time! Poor guy has some gas issues, but I'll just say he gets that from daddy.

My Favorites Are Gone!

In a catastrophic turn of events, my computer crashed. I tried to start it up and it just stared back at me blankly. While my computer is not as important as, say, my kids, it is pretty darn important. Even though I knew I had my two most important sets of documents (dissertation and class lectures) backed up, I was pretty upset to potentially lose the rest of the work I've done over the past two and a half years. So I started to shop around and wound up taking it to the Geek Squad. Begrudgingly, I might add, since I am sure that they are a huge rip off. Their stupid user friendly logo and set-up just screams "we are ripping you off because you are computer illiterate and have no other choice, but we are putting it in a pretty package so you don't mind paying the money."But, it seems as if they have recovered my hard drive and reinstalled my operating system in a days time, so I can't really complain. Too much. I just started my computer for the first time and the first time and saw the username is "Tim." Now I know some couples share an e-mail address, but Tim and I don't even share a computer. My computer is like my personal space. So the computer's name is supposed to be "Mommy." Okay, I can deal. I'll figure out how to change it back. But then I went to the Internet, and saw that all of my favorites are gone. I know I should have expected it, just like I should have realized that my background picture would be wiped, but I didn't. I feel blindsided -- a little violated. I had no idea how important having my computer set up my way is. And I don't know enough about computers to get them back! How do I get the Internet Explorer Icon in my bottom left corner? How do I replace my desktop shortcuts? Really, this sucks.

And in what is a continuing obsession that I am really trying to curb, I had to get a latte from Starbucks since they are in the same strip mall. Another rip-off -- $4.00 for a cup of coffee. $4.23 really. But I can't stop. I swear they must put crack or something in there (of course, for me, caffeine is like crack, so maybe that's it). Honestly, I just bleated like a little sheep all the way out of my cozy suburban strip mall paying way too much for stuff I "need".

Bbaaahh.

Oh, and Mackensie is still wearing her halloween costume. She slept in it and hasn't taken it off yet. I'll upload pictures when I find the F%^$#^g disk that goes with my photo softwear and reinstall it.

The $64,000 question...

How much is a 10 day stay in the NICU at CHOP? Literally, $64,038.23. I'm not sure that even includes Oliver's surgery or any of the diagnostics (ultrasounds, MRI, etc.). I've been waiting for this Explanation of Benefits from my insurance company and it finally came. And in what is a true praise to God, they paid for it. I knew it was going to be high, but I really had no idea.

Ironically, I spent a good deal of time today trying to sort through charges that the insurance company did not pay. It turns out bills just need to be resubmitted and they will take care of it. But just when I was low on liking my insurance company, they really pulled through.

I just had to share.

Just an update from yesterday: Oliver has bronchitis like Mac. Poor little guy. We had to get chest x-rays to rule out pneumonia, which we did. So now he's just layin low and getting lots of love from mommy (not to mention the nebulizer treatments).

Really, my insurance company must hate me.

Another day, another doctor...

It's gotten to the point where I'm embarrased to call the pediatrician's office. But each time I go in, the kids really need it.

The week started off with a visit to the office for Mac. I didn't take her with me Friday and she wound up getting a worse cough over the weekend. So I took her in Monday and found out that she had a bronchial infection. Because she loves her little brother sooo much, she decided to share it with him. It started a little bit yesterday, but today it is full-fledged. The little man sounds like he smokes 5 packs a day. It's really heart breaking to hear. So as soon as the doctor opens today I have to get him an appointment.

Yesterday was a pretty exciting day. Middlesex county services came out to evaluate Oliver, and he qualifies for a program that provides in-home care as often as I like. It will be physical therapy for now, and can include other types of therapy (speech, etc.) if he needs it. I'd like to brag for a second here -- although he was delayed in fine and gross motor skills, his attention and communication skills were at or above age level. Yes, the comparisons start already! I do realize that it is ridiculous to get giddy about a 2 month old being at or above age level, since that doesn't mean much at 2 months old, but it made me soo happy. Such a dork. But anyway, what they found was that he has soft muscle tone in his trunk. We never even thought about that since we are so focused on his legs. They said that this could be contributing to the reflux, because the muscles aren't tight enough to really push/keep down the food. Interesting, right? So now I have some exercises to strengthen his midline, too. This is going to be one strong guy!

Went to CHOP for casting yesterday and waited for almost 4 hours. But I didn't even get upset -- I just expect it now. I took some research for work and read for a couple of the hours, and when Oliver woke up, we played. So it was actually productive. And even better, we met another baby with spina bifida. Whenever I'm in the waiting room, I kind of eye up all of the other patients trying to figure out if anyone has spina bifida. Now when I'm in spina bifida clinic, it's pretty easy, although they share a waiting room with other clinics, so nothing is a given. But in orthopedics, i think it is a pretty safe bet that any babies with casted legs also have spina bifida. I'm also starting to recognize some repeats. I had never seen this particular baby before, but the grandfather was carrying him around and came over and started conversation with me. It turns out his lesion was the same level as Oliver's and his feeling level is the same. The only difference seems to be that he had a shunt put in at three weeks. He was there getting his casts off from the surgery that Oliver is set to have in December. It was cool to talk to someone else in the same position. The mother looked young. She said that this is her first baby. I have to think that spina bifida is even more overwhelming in your first child -- not only do you have to learn how to be a parent, but you also have to deal with all of the extras.

Some exciting baby news:
Oliver slept through the night 2 nights in a row. Yay -- hopefully this is the beginning of a trend.

Something that will surpriste no one:
Sniper jumped into the pack n play and peed in it twice. Really I almost killed her.

Another busy week gone by...

Check out these apple dumplings!

Time flies when you're having fun!

Time really has been going by so quickly. Oliver is almost 10 weeks old already! He just had his 2 month check-up today. He got a clean bill of health, except for some suspected reflux. So he has to start taking zantax. He is up to 11 lb. 14 oz. already, and that is without casts. The doctor said that all things considered, he looks great. I would have liked the "he looks great" without the caveat, but I'll take what I can get :) He also only had to get one shot today. I've been seriously debating whether or not to vax him on a delayed schedule -- there has been a lot of attention to the possible side effects of vaccinations, including autism. It is scary to think about what you are injecting into little babies. However, living where we do, I think it would be unwise to leave him unprotected against a variety of preventable illnesses. So I've really been debating. Breaking up the vaccines seems to be the wisest choice, since it allows him to be vaccinated without injecting too much at once. Even in his 1 shot today, he got five separate vaccines. I actually didn't realize it was going to be that many when he got it. I can't imagine what is left for next week. Poor little guy -- imagine if he'd gotten all of them at once!

In addition to his check up, Oliver also saw the orthopedist and the urologist this week. On Wednesday he had a VCUG, which is a series of x-rays done on his bladder to make sure that it is working properly. Which it is! So we don't have to have another check for 4 months.

He also went for his weekly casting, but this time, some discoloration developed on his foot between the time we got there and the time the doctor went to put the cast on his foot. I was afraid it was an allergic reaction to the elastic in his sock. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned that babies with spina bifida are prone to latex allergies. These allergies can be pretty severe. It was originally thought that the latex allergy developed due to repeated exposure to latex in medical settings. However, there is some thought that says spina bifida babies might be genetically prone to it. Since all medical facilities dealing with babies with spina bifida are latex free, it isn't such an issue anymore. But in case you've never though about it -- latex is in everything! Including the elastic in clothing. So I was afraid he had a reaction to his sock. The doctor didn't think so, but also didn't want to recast his leg. So Oliver's legs are uncovered for the first time since he was 1 week old. We go back next Wednesday for a recast (as long as the discoloration is gone) -- but it's nice to see his legs.

Other than that, we've been busy with playdates and pumpkin picking. Not to mention that Tim had to travel this week and I've gone back to work. We seriously need about 2 or 3 more hours in every day. It took me three days just to get the time to go out and buy dish detergent and diapers and I still have a huge late fee pending at the library (which is eating away at me). I've never been much of a planner -- I always thought that it led to too much stress. But I'm seriously reconsidering my stand on that. Right now, not planning is leading to serious stress. Maybe it's not planning I need, but organization. As dumb as it sounds, I now want to be the person who has everything laid out the night before. Anyone who knows me even a little bit would probably acknowledge that is so not like me and would probably be next to impossible to achieve. But seriously, something has to give, and I don't want it to be my sanity.

Spina Bifida Clinic Day 1

Here, Oliver demonstrates a wide range of emotions, from happy to sad. What a talented little guy!

So we had our first day of spina bifida clinic last week. What a loooong day! Spina bifida clinic is a department at CHOP designed to allow us to see several doctors in one visit. We get to see a pediatrician, general nurse who specializes in spina bifida, a physical therapist, and a social worker. We also try to schedule other appointments that day, so we also will often have appointments with orthopedics and neurosurgery. Last Wednesday it started out with ortho, which is always an adventure. I waited there so long that they told me to just go to my clinic appointment and come back later. So I went and checked in with clinic and sat there for about 40 minutes. Finally they called me in, took Oliver's height and weight, and put me in an exam room to wait. Hmmm. About 20 minutes later the pediatrician came in. She gave him a quick look and announced him in good health. Something I always like to hear. Then she left, promising that another doctor would be in soon. I just waited.

I was just about to call neurosurgery to tell them I would be late, when one of the SB nurses stopped in and told me to just go up there and come back and finish clinic later. Okay -- so now I left ortho to go to clinic and left clinic to go to neurosurgery. All this and I had only seen one doctor so far. So I went up to neurosurgery, and you can guess what happened there -- I waited.

The waiting room at neuro was a little different. It was packed and loud. I think that the nature of the injuries/conditions that brings many people to neurosurgery are a bit more obvious than other places in the hospital -- a fact that lent itself to a more frantic and agitated vibe. I was feeling sorry for myself because it was 1:30, I was starving, alone (Tim had to work) and tired of waiting, when I saw a woman with three kids struggling at the check-out counter. She had a twin in a stroller, a twin in a sling on her chest, and then a 3 or 4 year old whose condition seemed to affect his balance, so that we couldn't really walk without some help. I looked at my quiet, sleeping, single baby and realized that my day wasn't really that bad.

I was most excited about the neurosurgery appointment because that is the part of Oliver's condition that I am most concerned about. I lose the most sleep wondering whether or not his soft spot is still soft (if it becomes firm or swollen that is a sign of hydrocephalus and he needs to go to the ER right away). If he needs a shunt and we don't catch it in time, that can lead to developmental delays and cognitive issues. So I was definitely anxious for a professional to weigh in on how he is doing. We met with the nurse practitioner, and she said that Oliver looks really good right now. She said that he will probably still need a shunt, but that she is basing that on statistics, not necessarily Oliver himself. If he gets a shunt, it will not make him any more or less predisposed to any cognitive disabilities -- however, it is nice not to have to have the surgery to insert it or any of the possible complications (infections, malfunction) that go along with it. So for now, he is in the clear.

After neuro, I went back down to clinic. Finally, he got to see some doctors. First we saw the physical therapist. She confirmed that Oliver has feeling in the same places that he has motion. Which means that he has feeling on the front of his legs down to his knees, but not below and nowhere on the back of his legs. She also told me that he will develop like any other baby, learning to roll over and somehow pull to a stand. Once he does that, they will fit him for braces and work with him to learn to walk. He will probably need bracing up to his hips and a walker in order to do so. She said that it is the philosophy of the clinic at CHOP that all kids should get to a standing position and learn the skill of walking, even though it is likely that a wheelchair will be much easier for day to day mobility. But at least this way that have the skill if they want to employ it. Personally, I think whatever gives them the most autonomy is the way to go -- it seems to me that a wheelchair will be a much better choice. But I'm all for giving him choices for later in life.

The rest of the visits were pretty uneventful. Didn't learn much from the nurse or the social worker. But I did get a list of items that contain latex. While I knew that all SB babies are prone to develop latex allergies, I had no idea how many items latex can be found in. As usual, a little information with me is a dangerous thing. So now I'm freaking out -- latex is in diapers, adhesive bandages, matresses, toys, and clothing. How the heck am I supposed to know what is safe and what isn't. There are also referred food allergies that go along with it, including bananas, avocado, and tomato. I always felt bad for parents of kids with food allergies; now I know how they feel.

Whew. So this post is almost as long as my day at clinic. Altogether I was there for 8 hours. But at the end of the day, I couldn't even be aggravated. Everyone there is so nice and helpful. I felt so lucky and blessed to get a clean bill of health for the little man. He was no worse for the wear -- he slept most of the day. And I came home to find out that Mac did not cry when her grandma dropped her off at school. Hooray -- she is finally adjusting. Now I can stop crying after I drop her off, too :)

Speaking of Mac -- she has re-caught the cold that she gave to Oliver in the first place. I think that I just have to burn all of the bed clothes and start over. We are a house of germs. Yuck. Even I'm getting sick.

Other miscellaneous updates:

Sniper is still bad.

Mac is still cute, but increasingly loud.

I'm still breastfeeding -- 7 weeks now. Yay.

The Jets still suck.

I had my first real beer in almost a year -- Beer is still good. Really good.

Are ya kidding me?

So I took Mac to the pedi for her check up yesterday, and just asked them to listen to Oliver since he's been a little sniffly and Tim mentioned he thought he heard a wheeze or two. Turns out Oliver has a cold. The quick listen to his chest turned into a full-blown appointment. Now he has to be on a nebulizer for medication 3x a day and go back for a recheck on Friday. So much for our "light" week on dr. visits -- by Friday, we will total 3 visits for Oliver and a check-up for Mac (if nothing else happens today, that is). Are you kidding?

Luckily, Mac's check-up went great. She is in the 75 percentile for height, 95th for weight, and 99th for head circumference. But her head growth has leveled off, so that is a good thing. The doctor gave her a clean bill of health, and seemed to be a bit taken with her, as well. Who wouldn't be?

Just in case you were wondering what it is like when we go to our orthopedic appointments, here are some pictures. I've mentioned before that we wait and wait and wait -- here is how we pass the time.

Look at this guy!

Just look at him. Adorable, no?

That's it -- nothing else to say. I'm officially procrastinating -- Mac is at school, so I should be cleaning, updating my C.V., something. But I'm just fooling around with photosharing softwear. Okay -- I'm off to be a productive member of society.

L'Chaim!

Oliver had quite a week this week. Casting on Monday... circumcision on Wednesday. Poor guy. I know circumcision isn't a bad thing, but I sure felt bad about having it done. In what is becoming the norm, we waited forever at the hospital on Wednesday. The whole process took five hours. Honestly, if I had held a bris instead of having it done at the hospital, we could have had the circumcision, a really good food spread, and a couple of drinks in the time it took for the hospital to handle this 20-minute procedure. Oy.



Casting on Monday also took quite a while, and we found out that he will probably need surgery to start to correct his feet. The doctor had us schedule surgery for November pre-emptively; he may not need it, but it was better to get on the schedule. This would be a "release" surgery, where they cut the tendons in his feet to get them to turn the way that they are supposed to go. If his feet loosen up and start to turn on their own in the meantime, then we can cancel for November. It would be really great to avoid surgery.



And because 2 doctor appointments in one week are never enough, I had to take Mr. Man to the pediatrician yesterday because I thought he had a fever. Of course when we got there he was measuring a perfect 98.0, which means no fever. Of course that is a good thing, but I felt like stupid mom. Part of the problem is that I refuse to take any one's temperature rectally. I just can't do it -- I feel like it's an invasion of personal space (do babies have personal space?) But I feel especially bad for poor Oliver, because his little bum is so red. So I took it under his armpit, which may have given me an "off" reading. But the doctor was really nice and assured me that even a suspected temp in Oliver is a big deal, because it could mean a kidney infection. I brought Mac to the doctor with us, which was a big mistake. She just yelled "NO" the whole time until the doctor had to get one of the nurses to take her out to the nurses' station for stickers. I have no idea what she was protesting, but she was very adamant about her "NO." The doctor assured me that this is normal sibling rivalry, which seems to be a recurring theme in our household lately. She did mention it would pass, but unfortunately she couldn't be specific about when. But in the end, I was able to leave that visit with my baby, toddler, and most of my dignity in tact.

To Life!

My Miss Mac

So will Mac hate me forever?

I know -- experienced parents would roll their eyes and say "Duh -- that's what kids do. And they'll make you feel bad about it forever, too." But really, it kills me. Today when we dropped her off at school she really didn't want to go. She cried and called out to me but I had to leave her there anyway. Will she remember this? Will she hold it against me? Tim and I stood in the hallway at school for over five minutes listening to her cry today. When we finally left, she was still crying. I know that every kid does this, but school was my idea, so I feel personally responsible for any misery associated with it. And it feels a lot different when it is your own kid crying.

This was such bad timing, since last night she and I had a very difficult night. I know she is adjusting to the new baby -- actually, we're both adjusting to the new baby. She's testing boundaries and I'm putting them up. No wonder she always wants to spend time with her grandparents -- they are more fun and a lot nicer. I feel like such a mean mommy. I know things could be a lot worse -- most of the time she just wants to hug and kiss the baby a bit too aggressively for my taste. But then I have to tell her to be gentle, she gets mad, and then the real fun begins. Last night it took over an hour to get her to bed. Not so bad in retrospect -- I've spent a lot longer getting her to bed in the past -- but this was maybe the most difficult time ever. She just refused to get into bed, and it took an hour of threatening, cajoling, and tricking to get her to sleep. The outrageous stories/reasons/lies you come up with to influence a toddler are really laughable in the light of day. But today I don't feel like laughing.

I hope by now Mac is out on the playground at school playing happily and not even thinking about me. She really enjoyed school last week -- I hope she'll remember that once she settles in. I think having 5 days off in between last Friday and today made it more difficult for her to go back. I know she'll get the hang of it and like it eventually, probably even by the time I pick her up today. And then we can start round two.

Edited to add that Mac did, in fact, stop crying soon after we left and had a fun day at school.

What's New Pussycat?

Nothing much.


We had our first set of outpatient appointments this week. Orthopedics took 3 1/2 hours. I was insane by the time the doctor came in. Tim is much more patient than I am. Oliver got new casts and we found out that he will go back in two weeks for another new set. This pattern will keep up for about 3 months, at which time they will decide if he needs surgery on his legs. The doctor told us that he likely won't do anything about Oliver's dislocated hips, which is kind of freaky. It bothers me that they are dislocated, but according to the doctor, if they put them back in place, they will probably pop out again anyway.


After the grueling ordeal of orthopedics, we went to see a lactation consultant. Breastfeeding is now the bane of my existence. For something that is supposed to be so natural I am on medication to improve my supply, weighing him before and after every feeding, and then pumping milk on top of that. How unnatural. Wanting to do the natural thing is so very unlike me -- I'm a big believer in modern technology, medication, and convenience. I should know better than to go against my instincts and try the natural route. I'm giving it another week or so before I throw in the towl. At least I can tell him mommy tried.


Our other big news is that Mac starts school this week. I thought it was such a good idea when I signed her up, but now my heart is breaking. I can't imagine sending her into the care of someone I don't really know for 2 days a week. But she seems excited, and I stand by the fact that it will be great for her to make friends and have some structured learning activities. Plus, they make her take a nap. It's actually state law that she has to "rest" for a certain amount of time in school/daycare. If only that was a law for everyone -- I think that every adult could benefit from naptime during the day.


Here are some new pictures as a bonus if you've made it this far down the blog:

On Our Own

So tonight was Tim's first full night back at work. Here is a rundown of what happened on my first night alone with both kids (in no particular order):

Oliver ate the entire time and cried whenever I tried to stop him.

I nearly mangled him trying to get him into a baby sling.

Mackensie peed on the floor.

Sniper stole a poop diaper out of the diaper pail and ran around the house with it while I chased her trying to get it back.

Sniper stole Oliver's pacifiers.

Mackensie bit me in the butt HARD. She wasn't trying to be mean - -she was just "biting my bummy meat," but she doesn't know the difference between pretend biting and really chomping down. I was talking on the phone doing dishes when she did it and she scared the crap out of me.

Mac tried to feed Oliver a bottle of milk leftover from this morning (she had the right idea, but I had to explain to her that she has to ask me before she puts anything in his mouth)

Mac has modified her voice to two volumes: loud and really, really loud.

They are finally both in bed asleep. Not bad at 9:20 I guess. Of course the house looks like a tornado tore through it, but I don't really care. I'm going to bed.

Guess who is home!

Sorry about the delay -- this site was down when I tried to update yesterday. But in the meantime, we got some great news! Oliver came home yesterday. His MRI came back showing that he doesn't need a shunt right now. They told us that 95% of babies with spina bifida do need a shunt eventually, but as of right now, Oliver is good to go. He also doesn't need to be catheterized anymore, which is great. That takes a lot of pressure off of his home care. So with all of that good news, he was ready to come home. This came as a complete surprise to us yesterday -- we were lucky we even brought the car seat. They told us soon after we got there, and after a 5-hour discharge process, home we came :)

I think that Oliver likes it here. He slept for 3-hour stretches last night, whcih wasn't too bad. Of course, he was awake for an hour and a half in between each 3 hour stretch. Mac is a great big sister -- I mean the best. She has already given him a bottle and helped to change his diaper. I think that it will still be an adjustment for her, but so far, so good. I think that Sniper is just pissed off that we brought home yet another person.

In true Lisa and Tim style, we didn't have everything ready for him to come home. Even with all of our time to prep. But we're catching up. Hopefully by the time the weekend comes we will be all set up and ready to move into our new routine.

Yay -- pictures!

Okay -- so here they are! I finally have a little photo tour of Oliver's first few days. Just a quick update -- today is a big day - -he has his MRI, as well as appointments with orthopedics and physical therapy. What we learn today should give us more insight into when he comes home. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!


Photo: about an hour after delivery, Oliver came to visit us in recovery.


His first close-up.

Asleep in his little cubby in the NICU at two days old.

On Thursday, the first time Mommy got to hold him!

His first kisses from his big sister Mac!

All of us together -- finally!

One Down, One to Go

So right now I am ABD (all but discharged, that is). My official discharge from the hospital is about 3, so I'm going to head over and visit with the little man before I pack all of my stuff and officially "move out." On one hand, I'm so glad to be going home. More time with Mac, all of my own stuff, etc. But I hate the thought of leaving here without Oliver. I also like the 24/7 care and pain meds available to me. I'll definitely miss being able to go over to see him anytime, as well as having people bring food and medicine to me at the press of a button.

They have said the soonest he will be discharged is the end of next week. He has an MRI scheduled for next Monday and I think that will be very telling in so far as whether or not he will need a shunt, which would delay his homecoming. So far he has had 2 head ultrasounds, which revealed that not much has changed fluid-wise since he was born and since he had the surgery to close up his back. I think that if nothing new develops, they will not shunt him for now. However, neurosurgery is never around when Tim and I are, so we get a lot of our information second-hand from the nurses and general physician assistants. I'm sure that at some point, probably after the MRI on Monday, we will get to consult with neuro directly. They say his kidneys look good -- kidney damage is often a side-effect of spina bifida because of the child's inability to fully empty his bladder. Oliver does make wet diapers on his own, but also needs to be cathed every two hours. I'm really hoping that is resolved before we leave the hospital. I can't even take temperatures using a rectal thermometer, let alone catheterize someone a few times a day. He also starts with his leg wrappings on monday to correct his club feet and to slowly ease his legs into a "regular" position. They are now kind of stuck in a "V" shape with his feet up by his head. It looks painful, but since that is all he has ever known, he is actually pretty comfortable.

So the end result of all this is that things look good for now. I got to hold and feed him yesterday and it was the BEST feeling ever (or I should say since I held Mac for the first time). I have to go get my Oliver fix and then Mac and Tim are coming up so we can all hang out together. I can't wait to hold both of my little ones at the same time! I'm so glad for today's homecoming, but it won't be real until Oliver can join us, too.

He's Here!!

I know, I know...so what good is a blog if I don't update it? Oliver James has arrived, and boy is he CUTE! I went in for the c-section on Monday morning as planned. I woke up in the middle of Sunday night with some crazy contractions, and thought that I might have him a few hours early. But it was like my body knew this was the last good sleep it was going to get for a while, so the contractions died down and I was able to fall back to sleep until it was time to get up at 6:30. The alarm never went off, but luckily I woke up and we got to the hospital on time (barely).



So I think that everyone knows that I was nervous about the section. It turned out to be okay, but I don't think that I would ever choose to go that route. I was monitored for about an hour before-hand -- hooked up so we could hear the baby's heartbeat, given an ultrasound, and discussed basic medical history. I also got an IV line in my hand, which I did not like. Based on my reaction to that, I got even more scared about the spinal.



And then it was time -- I went in to the OR ahead of Tim, where they adminsitered the spinal. I hated that. The procedure is similar to getting an epidural, but I guess last time I was in so much pain that the pain from the epidural didn't bother me. This time, it was all I had to focus on. I jumped when they put the needle in, and really, really, hated the feeling of the medication going through my legs. The whole thing was just uncomfortable and nasty. And of course I thought that I was the one person for whom the medication wasn't really going to work. Of course, it did, and from the time I started to go numb, things got a lot better.



Tim came into the room and sat next to me. Before I knew it they had started the incision. Literally, I didn't know it -- I thought they still had to do a test or two to make sure that I was numb. But Tim told me that they had already started. And a few minutes later the little man was born. Our doctor brought him over hanging upside down, and that was the last we saw of him for a while. They fixed me up and brought me to recovery. I actually felt pretty good. And the best surprise was that they wheeled Oliver in for a quick visit. It was so amazing to finally see him! Just the day before I had been worried that he wasn't moving enought, and there he was in all his baby glory moving around right in front of me! I fell in love all over again :)



A lot of our family had come for the birth, so we had a lot of visitors. Tim took everyone to lunch, and I finally went up to my room and got settled in. The deal was that I couldn't go to CHOP to see Oliver until the doctors were satisfied that I had recovered enough. So I made the quickest recovery possible -- I've had people comment all week that they can't believe I'm up and around, but being able to see him was the best incentive possible. Believe me - I paid for it later!



Oliver has his own adorable little cubby in the NICU. He is just the cutest baby since Mac. they have the same squishy face, but Oliver is a lot smaller! He was 6 lb. 11 oz. when he was born and about 20 inches. I don't have my pictures on the computer yet, but I promise they will come soon. For the first day, we all just looked at him and touched his arms and head in his little isolette.



On Tuesday he had his surgery. I was really nervous but things went well. The scar looks ugly, but they say that he healing well. I will FINALLY get to hold him today at 4 pm -- a full 48 hours after his surgery. I cannot wait.

Have to go see him now. Will update later.

So this is it...

We're at the start of our last day as a family of three plus pug. Of course, we've hypothetically been a family of four for quite a while now, but tomorrow we become the real thing. We've fit a lot of family time into this week, and hopefully today we can fit some more. Mackensie is going to think that having a baby really means getting to go to ChuckE Cheese, get ice cream, and hang out all day with mom and dad.

Tonight she will have a sleepover with grandma and grandpa while Tim and I go down to Philly. We know that we can't make it down there by 7:30 tomorrow morning and actually be on time. That looks so pathetic in print - who can't get up and out on a day like tomorrow? Well, if anyone will oversleep or dawdle around to the last minute it will be us. So we've owned up to our shortcomings and gotten a room near the hospital. We'll get there at 7:30 and get hooked up in the labor room, where they will monitor the baby for a bit and counsel me about my spinal. Yuck -- wish I could do without that. Of course, there's no way I want to be put out during the surgery, so a spinal it will be. I guess the epidural wasn't that bad last time; hopefully this won't be much different.

Then it's off to surgery. Once he is born, I will get to see him briefly, and then the little man gets taken right to the NICU for check-in and evaluation. I can't go see him until I can walk, which seems a little silly considering I can't hold him anyway. What damage could I possibly do? I realize that restriction might be for my benefit, but don't they realize that seeing him would speed my recovery? Anyway, while he is getting checked in, Tim and I get some downtime. Then Tim can go see him and I can join later. Our family is going to be there, too, so there should be no shortage of company for either one of us.

Mac is coming around 2, at which point I will hopefully get to see both of my children. How weird is it to say that? I'm not sure how she will feel about this, but we are fully prepared to buy her approval and affection with a really cool doll and doll accessory set. The accessories are actually the same type and brand that I have purchased for the baby. So she gets to take care of her new baby while I get to take care of mine.

So that should be tomorrow in a nutshell. Based on his evaluation, surgery for Oliver should come sometime on Tuesday. Hopefully by Tuesday night I will be able to hold him. Hopefully, he will not need a shunt right away. Of course, if there is one thing that I have learned over the last few weeks, it's that "Everything can change after his back is closed up and we can't tell you anything until he is born." So at least we should finally get some answers!

Please keep us in your prayers, that we are all strong and healthy, and that the answers we finally get are good ones :)