Preparing for a Happy New Year

It's been quite a busy and wonderful year.

Welcoming Oliver into the family has been exciting beyond words. It's hard to imagine that this time last year he was just a tiny little bean waiting to be born. We had no idea what was to come. Getting his diagnosis was momentarily devastating; we had to mourn the baby we thought we'd have and then accept the baby that we were going to have. For me, that took the first weekend of getting the news -- after that, I didn't look back. Once we hooked up with CHOP, things went pretty quickly. All of the visits and uncertainty and waiting and praying that took us up to the birth of our little boy seems like a blur now. But when I sit back and reflect, the change in our lives is amazing. We are parents of a special needs child -- part of a new group, a new subset of society with a whole new vocabulary and priorities. But most importantly, we are the parents of a perfect, sweet, amazing little boy. In all of my prayers, I could not have asked for a more perfect son.

Watching Mac grow from a little toddler into a full-fledged little girl has been an amazing (and tiring!) process. It's hard to even remember, but I don't think that she was talking much this time last year. Now, she is the most articulate, most impressive little girl. She "reads" books, tells stories, reasons with me, argues with me, and absorbs everything. In my wildest dreams, I could not imagine a smarter, sweeter, more amazing daughter.

Tim and I have spent another year together -- we're going on seven! In some ways, that doesn't seem like nearly long enough for all that has gone on, but in other ways it has been a lifetime. Even though we don't see each other as often as we should (or maybe because of :) we continue to love each other and learn a lot about being married. Sometimes the learning isn't easy or fun, but I have to think that it counts for something.

I even got a job offer, which I have been stressing about basically since half-way through the PhD program. We turned the garage into an office and a playroom. Tim has remodeled the school. We have tunred a thousand tiny corners this year in order to bring us to 2008. God has been with us and kept us safe and close. We are both blessed and grateful.

Looking forward, I hope for health, happiness, and a little organization!

Happy Holidays!

I really love that Christmas extends all the way to New Year's. The tree is still up and there is still tissue paper strewn everywhere. Christmas is still here!

We have not even chipped away at getting all of Mac's gifts a) open and b) put away. But I like to leave things under the tree for a week -- it keeps that fresh Christmas feeling. The rest of our Christmas day was a lot of fun -- we had lunch at the Volk house and dinner with the Chewning parents. Even though it was busy it was a lot of fun. One of Mac's big gifts was an indoor bouncing thing. Watching her bounce on it is one of the funniest things that I have ever seen.

But even during Christmastime, the real world creeps in. Both of Oliver's casts fell off, so we had to go back down to CHOP the day after Christmas. And then they fell off the next day. So he is now castless again. This really aggravates me, because he just had the surgery. It is more important than ever that the feet get held in the right position, and now the most I can do is stretch them out a few times a day. After next Wednesday this won't be an issue because he gets his braces, but a week is really too long to go without any extra support on the feet.

And falling into the great news category -- I got a job offer from Penn State. I'm really excited. I'm trying to work out some insurance issues, but I will probably take the job. Of course, I also want to know if Montclair (where I had my other interview) is planning on calling me back. So I'm trying to stretch out my response to Penn State and get in touch with Montclair. Very stressful -- I'm not a negotiator. And I'm so not slick. I've been told that you are supposed to negotiate salary and I really have no idea how to do it. But these issues aside, I'm just really relieved to have gotten an offer. It will make this coming semester so much easier and less stressful.

Tim is remodelng the karate school from top to bottom. He is conducting an intense, one-week construction-a-thon in order to get it done before he reopens on January 2. It sucks, because I haven't seen him for more than an hour a day since last Friday (other than onChristmas Eve and Christmas). But it will be well worth it when he is done.

I know, I know...pictures would illustrate all of this much better. I still have no quick way to get the photos onto the computer. But they are coming, and they are cute!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

We just finished opening our gifts. I think that everyone is happy :) It's been such a great holiday so far. On Christmas Eve, it is our tradition to get together with my grandma, aunt, uncle and cousins. We do this with my mom, since it is her side of the family. This year we went up there (we take turns). It was so much fun -- everything was perfect. Dinner was great, and we had fondue for dessert. That is a new tradition that I hope we keep up from now on. Anyway, we all got great gifts, but Mac really got a lot of cool stuff. She was so excited that when she woke up this morning, she asked for her new dolls first thing. She wanted her gifts, but I don't think she understood that she actually got new gifts today. So when she realized that she got new gifts here, too, she was really excited. Even Oliver seemed excited by the teething ring in his stocking.

Another Big Day

So Oliver had another big day yesterday --spina bifida clinic at CHOP. SB clinic is a day where we go down and he sees everybody -- neursurgery, clinic nurse, pediatrician, physical therapist, social worker, and orthopedics. Whew. Grandma made the trip down with us, so we had some good company to get us through the day. We saw neurosurgery first, becasue his home pediatrician thought that he saw sundowning of Oliver's eyes at his 4 month check-up on Monday. Sundowning is when the eyes slide down, leaving a lot of white showing at the top. This is one of the signs of hydrocephelus, which would indicate the need for a shunt. I didn't really see it, but was still pretty nervous. After he was evaluated by neuro, they said that they didn't see anything wrong, and that any sign, especially sundowning, would be much more pronounced. One of those things that you can't mistake for anything else. So we got a thumbs-up from neuro.

We bopped around to the rest of the doctors after that. The pediatrician was someone we hadn't seen before and was very nice. The clinic nurse and physical therapist hardly spent any time with us at all - I guess there wasn't much to say. In orthopedics, he got fitted for his braces. After January 2, Oliver will be out of casts and will wear his new braces indefinitely. At first, he got fitted for very cumbersome casts -- there were two sandals joined by a bar. So his legs would actually be attached to each other. I was soo upset. But when we saw the doctor, he said that he'd ordered the wrong kind, and that his braces would actually just be plastic sleeves that hold the feet in position, much like his casts do. I was much happier after that.

When all was said and done, we were there from 10 am to 6:30 pm. A long but fulfilling day. Oliver seemed no worse for the wear. I, on the other hand, was pretty tired.

Speaking of a big day, I'm going out to happy hour for the first time in, um, I actaully don't know how long. I used to be the happy hour queen! Ages 22-27 basically were happy hour. In all honesty, my friend Lynn and I shared the title. We could turn happy hour into happy 7 hours. Aah, the good old days; it's a shame I don't remember all of them that clearly. Lynn is coming home for a visit from her posh new LA digs and we're going to hit the bar with our other friends from the Jewish News. It will be like old times, except for the fact that I can't drink that much because I'm breastfeeding and I have to be home by 9. But other than that, really, just like old times.

My Policy on Monsters

I have to decide on my monster policy. Mac is newly obsessed and sees them everywhere. So I ask:

Is there no such thing as monsters or do monsters exist but are fundamentally nice and don't hurt children?

I can't decide which is the better route to take. Do I deny childhood imagination in an attempt to nip this in the bud, or indulge but create a whole system in which monsters are nice and won't hurt her? And of course if there are nice monsters, that leaves room for evil, child-eating ones, as well. Tim says we should go with the former, but Mac seems wholly unconvinced when I tell her that and continues to point them out to me ("Do you see it over there -- the blue monster?"). I've tried to dodge it altogether until I decide which is the better tact to take.

Not that Mac couldn't kick the ass of any monster that came after her. Seriously, if she only knew how formidable she really is, we'd all be in trouble.

Actually, I suspect she knows...

It's official...

I'm one of those people. I actually got up this morning at 6 a.m. to go wait in line at Target for a Wii system. What a dumbass. But I got one! I hate the whole process of buying into this season's hottest gift -- it smacks of unoriginality and blatant consumerism. But I knew it was the perfect gift for Tim and I've been wanting to get it for quite some time now. Luckily there was no pushing and shoving, and I kind of bonded with the other people in line. It actually wasn't that bad. And I feel so good that most of my Christmas shopping is now done. But I still can't help feeling just a little bit dirty and used by the whole experience.

Of course, the second I got home I yelled at Tim for not having his phone on (I needed to get in touch with him and couldn't, as usual). Kind of defeats the purpose of getting up and doing something nice for him.

Please Pray with Me...

For my online friend Katie. Her 7 year old son is going through a slow process of illness that will likely soon end in his death. Please pray for his easy passing and the family's peace. Here is her amazing story if you are interested: http://ramblingmomtomany.blogspot.com/. We both have kids born in February 2005 and met on our baby board on Babycenter. She is a really great person and it is so sad to see what she is going through.

Happy Birthday!

Yesterday was Oliver's 4 month birthday. I can't believe he is this big already.It already feels as if he has been here forever -- I can't picture what it was like without him. He is growing so well -- not only is he putting on a ton of weight, but he also is smiling and laughing and has such a great little personality. At 4 months, he is already his own little person. He has adorable habits like reaching out to grab my face and trying to eat his fist. I'm so familiar with the way he eats, sleeps, plays, and feels -- he does each of these things in his own special way. He responds to my voice and looks at me in such an incredibly cute way. We are so blessed to have him.

And while I'm counting our blessings -- today is Tim's birthday! The big 2-9. He thinks he's getting old, but 29 isn't so bad. I feel bad that I don't have his gift -- I've been trying to find a Wii as a combined birthday/Christmas gift, but I can't get one anywhere. It's like a cabbage patch doll or something. The funny thing is that I had this idea months ago but figured it would be no big deal to pick it up closer to the holidays. The joke is on me. I'm actually going to go wait in line at Toys R Us on Sunday morning because I heard that they will have a shipment. I always thought the first time I did that it would be for one of my kids, not my husband. But I think that he will be so excited, so I really hope that I can get it.

Not much else is new. We're waiting for the possible snow storm tomorrow. I can't decide if I want a lot of snow or not. I remember about 5 or 6 years ago when my biggest concern over getting snowed in was whether or not I had enough liquor in the house to sustain me through a day or two of Real World marathons. Now I have to make sure that we have enough food, activities, and energy to play in the snow. Ah - how times change. Mama's all grown up now.

PS -- This is what happens when we try to pose for holiday pictures in our house.

Oli Houdini

So Oliver's cast did fall off. The good news is that the orthodpedist on call at CHOP said it's no big deal and happens all of the time. The better news is that the incision doesn't look so bad. The bad news is that this means a Monday trip down to Philly. The doctor has started to call him Houdini.

Mr. Houdini was also pretty fussy last night -- so much so that we wound up giving him his pain medication. The fussiness didn't start until after his cast fell off, so we were wondering if maybe the foot being loose and able to flop around made it hurt a little bit either down in the foot area (wouldn't that be nice?) or maybe somehow pain was going up the leg. We're not sure, but Oliver was crankier last night than I have ever seen him. I couldn't put him down for even a second. It made me so sad when Tim finally said we should give him the pain medicine -- to think that he would have been in pain all night before we gave it to him made me feel so bad. But, logically, he shouldn't have pain, and I don't want to give him such strong medication for no reason.

It could have also been gas. He was a pretty gassy last night. If it was only gas, that would be the strongest medicine ever given for a gassy stomach.

Whatever it was, it worked and he finally fell asleep after eating again. Hopefully today will be better.

Home Again, Home Again

So we made it through the whole week! Most importantly, Oliver's surgery went well. But the rest of the week was pretty exciting, too.

First things first -- how is Oliver? He is doing really well! We were able to take him home that day. Which seemed great at the time, but at about 3 a.m. seemed like a horrible idea. He woke up with such a scratchy, wheezy throat that we almost took him to the emergency room. It was probably from the breathing tube that they used during surgery, but it just sounded so bad. But since he was able to eat, I figured his airway must be clear. So we waited it out and he was fine. We also realized, thanks to my mom, that the Oxycontin pain medication they prescribed was unnecessary since he has no feeling below his knees. Thank goodness I only gave him one dose before we realized this. So he has been med-free since Thursday night and he seems to be fine. It's always a little disappointing to get more confirmation that he really has no feeling down there. Of course I know it to be true, but sometimes wonder if maybe they were wrong and that he has a little sensation. I think that this proves beyond a doubt that he doesn't. But he is healthy, alert, and suffering no side-effects of anesthesia, so I proclaim the surgery a huge success!! Of course, one cast seems to be sliding down already, so I suspect our two-week follow up might turn into a one-week visit.

Wednesday I had my Penn State interview, which I think went really well. It was at the Abington College campus, which is located in Eastern PA., about an hour from our house. It is a beautiful campus. It was once an elite women's college attended by Amelia Earhart, among others. It is a much smaller school than I am used to. Although it is part of the Penn State system, it is also sort of a stand alone school. I would liken it maybe to Rutgers Camden (but probably safer). So the academic rigor isn't as great, but they are really nice people who seem interested in letting whoever they hire (me! me!) develop a good research agenda as well as teach. I liked the people who did the interviewing, and they seemed to like me. I also had to teach a class on PR theory, which actually went really well. All in all it was a good day. They told me I can expect to hear back anywhere from next week through mid-January.

On my way home from Penn State, I got a call from Montclair State University. They said that I had made it to their short list and that they wanted to schedule a phone interview for FRIDAY! So of course I said yes, even though Friday was already packed with my pre-proposal presentation. But how could I turn down an interview? So Friday morning I "met" with 4 faculty members from Montclair State for a 30-minute phone interview. They are a bit of a bigger school with more of a research focus than Penn State Abington. They seem to follow the Rutgers model of expectations a lot more than Penn State. So more opportunity and a larger department of colleagues, but less time to develop my own interests and/or have down time with my family. I didn't get into a discussion of pay with them, but I suspect I could also make a bit more money there. Of course, I have to get the job first. They said that they would further narrow down their list, and get back to candidates in late January - mid-February. The interview went really well, but I think that not having my dissertation done might have counted against me, so I'm not sure what to expect. More waiting.

Finally, I had my pre-proposal presentation on Friday afternoon. Basically, I just presented what I have written so far of my dissertation in front of faculty and colleagues at school. Luckily, it was a small audience. As I watched the person before me struggle through her presentation and then get totally blasted with questions, I just sank lower and lower into my chair. I could sense no good presentation karma coming my way. I hadn't really had time to practice (at all!) and figured I was about to pay for it. But it wound up going really well. I was able to get through the presentation and answer any questions that people posed. I had one or two GLARING typos in my PowerPoint ("two" instead of "to" -- I don't even know how I did that!), but it worked out okay. So now I am onto the next phase of my dissertation. It's a sort of false milestone, kind of like graduating from Kindergarten, but still one that I needed to get through in order to get done. So now I'm on my way!

Waiting...

So we're in the Surgical Waiting Center at CHOP, waiting for Oliver to come out of surgery. He was such a good little baby while we waited for the surgery to begin. He couldn't eat after 6 a.m. so I woke up at 5 to feed him and then went back to sleep until 6:30 or so. Then we got up and got ready to leave. I had to give Oliver a bath, since I didn't know how long the casts were going to be on him after the surgery. We haven't had casts on for 2 weeks now and it's been so nice. I can give him baths, and I love to see his little feet! After his bath he got his neublizer treatement. Tim's mom came over and brought us coffee, which was great. We were just about to leave when Mac woke up. She was so cute -- she had to give her little brother so many kisses before he left. I don't usually tell her that we are going to the doctor/hospital for Oliver -- she never asks, I never tell. But she found out today and seemed to sad to see him go. But by the time we left she was happy to spend the day (and have a sleepover) with Nanny Nancy.

We got to CHOP 10 minutes late. Not too bad for us. Each time we're late for something here I'm so nervous, but then we sit around and wait. And that's what we did today. We waited for about 45 minutes before they called us into our little pre-op cubby. Then they took his medical history again, and weighed him to be sure the anesthesia level was correct. The little porkchop has gained almost a pound since his weigh in 2 weeks ago. This brings him to 7 1/2 pounds in just under 4 months!

The anesthesiologist just came out and told me that they are done and everything is fine. We can go see him soon! They warned me that because of his "well-fed state," they couldn't get the IV in so he is a bit bruised. Poor little man. But he didn't feel it because he was already asleep. And now the doctor came out and told us that all went well. They released the tendons and his feet are at a 90 degree angle. We have to bring him back in 2 weeks for new casts. I can't wait to go see him!

Since our wait was cut short, you'll be spared my description of all of the great things that CHOP has to offer parents -- for now. Let's just say that if you have the "parent bracelet" you get free coffee at the McDonald's downstairs. Could you imagine if it was a Starbucks -- I'd never leave!

As if life wasn't exciting enough...

It's snowing!
Mac has started to use the potty!
I got bangs!

Ooh-di-lolly!