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| At a recent 5K. Goodbye racing, for now :( |
So, people who know me know that I am pretty fitness minded. I work out on a very regular basis, and I am a bit crazy about what I eat. My goal, I always say, is healthy not skinny. And while this is true, I'm not really looking to put on much weight, either. People who know me also know that I have diastisis recti (DR), or a splitting of the outer abdominal walls caused by a weak core and intra-abdominal pressure. The result is a weak core, and a pooching belly. And how do you get that? Pesky kids :) I think Oli being in a pike position for months on end in utero started it, and Miles just kind of spread out nicely and made the room his own. The result? Now that I am back to pre-baby weight and all over shape, I look like a snake that swallowed a mouse. When I lay down, I can sometimes see the digestion process occurring, in that my abdomen actually moves as if there was a baby inside. Tim has seen it, and I have video to back up this wild claim. I have a deep, but not too wide gap right on my midline. You can see it when I lay down. My belly button is a permanent outie.To say that I am obsessive about this is an understatement.
Apparently, the "cure" to this is to build up the transverse abs (the ones on the inside), and not to engage in traditional ab exercises like crunches, b/c building up the outer abs will make the belly bigger. No thank you! Not knowing any better, this is exactly what I did after Oli. To me this seems counterproductive, b/c strong outer abs should just lock everything in. But I'm not the expert.
Since getting clearance to exercise, I have done exercises designed for the post-partum period, moved on to Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 (a favorite), and then Insanity (an absolute butt kicking favorite! Oh my, do Tim and I love Shaun T!). I have also taken classes at the Y, and most recently started running @ 10 miles a week training for a half marathon. And taekwondo (when the kids allow it). I do it to stay in shape, but I really do love the feeling of working out, especially after. It is a real stress reliever for me, and I like pushing my body in new ways to see how it responds and takes shape.
For all of the working out, I am a few pounds below pre-preg weight, and I'm getting my muscles back, but of course, my abs often look like poochy mush. Not all of the time, and my clothes fit, so I can't be that much bigger than I was before Miles. But they are soft and, especially from the side, bulging. Plus, I know they are weak and not functioning right, and that really bothers me. The fact that I can see my insides moving when I digest freaks me out.
So, after hemming, hawing, and obsessing, I bought the MuTu system. It is British, so it has to be good, right? Anyway, I bought the Focus Program, which only focuses on getting the core back into shape, as opposed to the full program, which provides an exercise regimen. I did this b/c I felt like I had a strong exercise regimen in place. WRONG! While I suspected all along that some of the exercises in Ripped in 30 and Insanity were counterproductive to closing the DR (and I sometimes subbed them out for lower impact moves), I just read on the MuTu Facebook page that any high impact activity creates intra-abdominal pressure, which works against the healing process. This includes running.
WAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
While my first thought is this could be a marketing ploy to get everyone to buy the 12 week system, I know it isn't true. I knew that what I was doing could be counterproductive, but I couldn't help myself. I did think running was okay, but in the last few weeks, my waist has actually gotten an inch bigger. Coincidentally (or apparently not), I have really upped my running in the last few weeks in preparation for the half in September.
DENIED!
So what is okay? Low impact exercise, such as bike and elliptical. Blah. I am no good at riding a bike (can I get an AMEN from anyone who knew me as a child?). I guess elliptical can work, especially b/c it works arms and legs. And I guess I can get back to spin class, which I had been gleefully avoiding because of my bike aversion and the fact that it is really hard work for less calorie burn. I am grateful that I have a Y membership that will allow me to continue to work out, but they aren't the workouts I like.
I am very bummed, but hopeful that I have found a reason why the ab work might not have been working. I'm hoping that I can strengthen up and get back to running ASAP.
Coincidentally (or not), this revelation came on the heels of me "giving up obsessing over the DR." Our pastor gave a great sermon on Sunday about things that are keeping us from serving God. And I realized that my obsession over the DR (which is partly about health and largely about looks) was taking over too much of my thoughts, and really affecting my moods.
Although this post belies the fact that I haven't stopped obsessing, I am hoping that changing my routine, combined with the mental shift that I am desperately trying to enact, will help me to be a bit calmer and look at the bigger picture. It will be harder, since I won't be able to rely on routines that I know work in other areas of fitness, but I hope that I am up to the challenge. Perhaps I have to focus on the metaphorical marathon, rather than the sprint.
