Tim's mom died about three months ago. Although she had been ill and getting worse, it was still completely unexpected. In addition to the complete sadness that the loss of such a wonderful person brings, it has also unearthed a lot of family issues that had been bubbling under the surface. I always realized how much work she was doing, both day to day as well as keeping the family knit together. But now that she is gone, taking care of Tim's dad has become everyone's responsibility. I can't help but feel that if we are taking care him once a week, we should have been doing the same for her. Although, I know they made it somewhat difficult for us to step in, as they had their routines, habits, and privacy issues. But at the same time, I think Nancy would have benefitted.
So, we're all a little sadder, a little tenser, and a little more stretched thin. Although we are happy, I would say joy is a little harder to find.
We are in a season of thanksgiving and joy, and I want to soak it up. I can honestly say that I am grateful and happy every day. But not carefree, not unbridled, not even enthusiastic. I try to remember to give my burdens to the Lord, but then I keep welcoming them back.
We will get there. Nancy would want it that way.
