Another Sick Day

So we're having another sick day. But this one is on the heels of what might be my scariest experience yet as a mother: an episode of croup. Mac has been stuffy/runny for a few days, but overall fine. Last night she woke up around midnight and could hardly catch her breath. She was coughing like a "seal bark" and having trouble breathing. At first she couldn't catch her breath, and then it turned into a "Darth Vadar" sounding breathing pattern. Her little chest was caving in at the ribs with each breath. We threw her in the bathroom and put the shower on full steam. Then I called the doctor. I had to leave a message with the hospital answering service, and when they called back, they very slowly took my name, address, etc., so that they could bill me the $5 required for after-hours service. It took all of my control to stay calm. By the time she actually got to talking about what was wrong with Mac, Mac had pretty much stopped coughing.

Luckily (sort of), Tim had experience with croup because he had that and asthma often when he was younger. He was very calm, but I was ready to take her to the hospital. But after 30 minutes in the steamy bathroom and a trip outside in the cold, Mac finally sounded better. So I decided to sleep with her in case it started up again. Which didn't work, because Mac has a really hard time sleeping with someone in the bed. She is in denial about this, as she always wants to be in our bed or have us in her bed, but she really is more of a solo sleeper. So, at this point it is 2:30. She and I lay there for an hour, with her tossing and turning. No recurring coughs, so I tell her I'm going into my own bed.

Meanwhile, my bed has both Tim and Oliver. And I desperately want to keep Mac and Oliver separate, since I can't even imagine how scary croup would be in a six month old. Plus, Oliver has to be clear for his surgery on Tuesday. About 3 minutes later, I hear little footsteps coming down the hallway. It was Mac, and she would not be turned away without a fight. Since I didn't want her getting worked up, out goes Oliver and in comes Mac. Luckily, within about 15 minutes or so, we were all asleep.

Fast forward to 7 am, when Oliver wakes up (plenty sniffly) to eat his breakfast. So I bring him into bed and keep him as far away from Mac as possible. When Mac wakes up at 8:30 (Oliver and I both fell asleep while he was eating) it is clear that she a) feels better and b) really needs a lot more sleep. So she instantly starts poking at Oliver and tapping (hitting) him on the head. It is so tiring to reprimand within 5 minutes of waking up, but something that I find myself doing more and more often.

So I call the doctor, who says Mac doesn't have to come in, but gives me instructions on how to keep Olivers sniffles from turning into croup. Out I go to CVS, where I buy a second cool-mist humidifier (I've been rotating the one we have to whoever is "sickest" each night), nose drops for each kid, and a nasal aspirator.

After 45 minutes of driving (to Starbucks, of course). they both finally fell asleep. I've never seen two kids who needed it more.

So that's our day. At least nobody is throwing up (yet).

...Like I Need a Hole in my Head

Honestly -- we lose an hour today? I need at least five more hours in any given day, and I have to give one up today? That's an hour I could spend with my kids, working on my dissertation, or watching America's Next Top Model.

The only good thing is that it will stay dark a little later in the morning. Mac has been waking up at 6:30 instead of her usual 8 a.m., I'm guessing because it's been so light. Hopefully this will get her back to sleeping in just a bit.

Just Call Me Mother Earth

It started with breastfeeding. Then I started making my own babyfood. Now I just ordered my first stock of cloth diapers. Making my own babyfood is going well so far. I just boil/bake the food and then put it in the blender with water. I try to buy organic and make enough for 2-3 days at a time. I have a feeling cloth diapering will be a bit more difficult. I can hardly keep up on my laundry as it is. But there are a lot of compelling reasons for trying it out. 1)It's sooo much better for the environment. I hate diapers! Hate them! I can just picture them filling up the landfills. We go through so many, even with Mac being potty trained. Uck! 2) It seems more economical. I pay $15-$20 for a one-two week supply of diapers. They usually last me about 1 1/2 weeks. Even though cloth diapers are expensive to start up (I just paid $78 for 9 diapers and 4 covers ~2 day supply), you don't have to buy them very often at all. These 9 diapers could last me for months. 3) Oliver will likely be in diapers until we teach him to self-catheterize. When I spoke to the doctor last time we took him to clinic, they said that could be anywhere from 5-7 years old. So I'd rather have him in cloth, which is closer to underpants, when he is old enough to realize what is going on. I figure I might as well start now.

I've even stopped doing my nails and dying my hair. We'll see how long that lasts. I'm not holding out much hope for going that green.

Happy Birthday Mac!

Today my beautiful, my first-born, my most special girl, Mackensie, turns 3. I could not be more proud of, more pleased with, or more in love with her. She started out as a not-so-tiny little baby. She has suffered through my mommy learning curve, allowing me to make mistakes and still standing strong. She was the first that I diapered, the first that I read books to, the first on whom I tried to imitate my own mother's gentle and unconditional love. Mackensie, my love, will always have a special place in my heart because it was with her that I learned how to be a mom. Although I continue to learn more all the time, and Oliver teaches me sweet new lessons every day, it was with Mac that I took my first halting steps as a mother. I sometimes have a hard time remembering those early days now, but I will alwyas remember how sweet and special they were. And we continue to break new ground as mother and daughter every day; entering the preschool years and a time for Mackensie to really develop her personality. I hope that I can provide for her and relate to her in the ways that she needs.

I am not with her today. Tim and I are in Las Vegas for a tournament, so Mac doesn't actually know it is her birthday. We will celebrate it with her next week. But in my heart and mind all day, I am celebrating the fact that three years ago today, I welcomed the most special little girl into our lives.

Happy Birthday, baby. I love you!

All Okay, but with a Surgery

Our day at CHOP went well. Oliver is doing well on all spina bifida related issues. My mom took off the day to come with us again, so the three of us headed down to Philly after dropping Mac off at school. Our first appointment was ortho and we were pleased to hear that there was only one person ahead of us. But for some reason we still waited 2 hours for him to come in and tell us there is nothing he can do and to keep stretching Oliver's feet and legs. That is starting to get old.

Then we met with Chris from the brace shop. There really isn't anything that he can do to make the braces fit better until Oliver's feet grow. Again, frustrating. But okay.

Then we met with the physical therapist who seemed pleased with Oliver's progress. Then we met with the pediatrician, who indulged my 20 million questions about what Oliver's eating schedule should be. He also gave us a prescription for a laxative for Oliver. I thought it was funny that he felt it necessary to add that it wasn't a kind that Oliver could get addicted to. The idea of a 6-month old addicted to laxatives is a bit much. Of course, Mac does call Oliver "chubby, chubby" so I guess he could develop a complex and get addicted...

Neurosurgery went well. They still don't see a need for a shunt! But they did ask us to make sure that he gets measured monthly by either CHOP or my pediatrician.

For the first time, Oliver also had a renal ultrasound. It was so funny to be at a ultrasound that wasn't a prenatal ultrasound. This time, the baby was on the outside and he was the one getting the ultrasound. Luckily, everything looks good. But we did find out that he still has an undescended testicle. We've known this for a while, and we kind of make fun of him sometimes. Is that mean? Well, we won't make fun of him anymore because he actually has to have surgery to bring it down. Ouch! Luckily it's an outpatient procedure, but it's another round of anesthesia.

We got some good alone time with Grandma and McDonald's for lunch. I'm not happy about the surgery, but very relieved to hear that we are okay on spina bifida issues. All told, a full and successful day.