I Love the Summer!

We are a summer family, for sure.

The first part of the summer was a bit hectic with traveling and the kids still being in school. But in the last week, things have calmed down a bit, and we have been able to enjoy ourselves summer-style!

Mac started Rec Camp, and so far, she loves it. While she is out of the house for half of the day, we still have the second half for fun stuff. While Oli starts summer school (aka camp) next week, he has had time to relax and join me in some activities this week.

Nothing says the summer like the shore. Last Friday, we joined my aunt, uncle, grandma, and one of my cousins at their beach house in point pleasant. We walked the boards and rode the rides, but got caught in a giant rainstorm. The great part about them having a beach house (ok, there are lots of great parts) is that we just moved the party inside. We wound up staying way past the kids bedtime, but it was a lot of fun.

We had two days worth of picnics over the weekend. One was a birthday celebration for my stepmom, Pat, and the other was a celebration for MumMum. No pictures from those, but lots of fun, sun, and food.

This week, while Mac was at camp, Oli and I had two outings. The first was our weekly outing to pick up the veggies from our CSA at Honeybrook Organic Farm. We go every week after physical therapy. As with most things I do, it is sort of counterproductive and not so well thought out, but I am enjoying it anyway. We split a share with Beth, and drive an extra 25 minutes each way after PT to pick up a relatively small portion of organic veggies. Pros: we are supporting organic agriculture, we are supporting local agriculture, the veggies are super fresh and seasonal, and buying them this way is cheaper than the supermarket. Cons: I am wasting a lot of gas driving to and from (even in the prius) and what i am using/emitting probably counteracts the fact that I am saving shipping fossil fuels by going local. It is also a huge time suck, and I have no idea what to do with some of the vegetables (am trying a beet and mint slaw to use up the beets I have. Yeah -- we'll see -- I'm not holding my breath on that one).

But this week was so cool b/c we did pick your own berries and herbs. They had just opened the raspberry patches, and we actually got to go pick the raspberries off of the bushes. So cool. Even though Oli was less than enthused, I am hoping that the whole process will sink into his brain and that he will make the connection between farm and food, as opposed to factory and food. Not so overtly, of course, but I am hoping that the connection will become innate to both kids as they grow older.

Oli in the raspberry field. He is holding our "half pint" container, as well as a cabbage that he fell in love with. I think he thought it was a ball, since he asked for his ball back later.

A long view of the fields.

How we pick our veggies. They are all in bins, and we are on the honor code to take only what is alotted in our share (see sign above the veggies).

Finally, we spent some fun time at the spray park! It was so reminiscent of what we used to do before the kids were in school. Oli had a great time running around and getting wet. We even ran into Ms. Ruth, his old PT. It was a great trip, and I loved seeing him on the go.

He's so cool he doesn't even feel the sun!

I almost forgot -- we finally made it back to the library. Between my pregnancy and Oli in casts (both of which made it hard for me to carry/transport him on my own) we fell way out of our usual library habit over the winter/spring. But we returned this week, and signed up for the summer reading program. After 5 hours of reading, each kid will receive a ticket for a free ice cream at Mendoker's ice cream shop.

And aside from the shore, nothing is more "summer" than ice-cream. I can taste it already!

Last Day of School!

Today was the last day of school for the 2010-2011 school year. I can't believe the kids have finished their first year of school. In terms of school year accomplishments:  Mac has learned how to read. At night now, Mac actually reads Oli his book, and then I read hers to her. It is amazing to see, and I can't believe that she learned it in kindergarten. And Oli has really learned how to interact with other kids. I was reading his IEP (Individualized Education Protocol) today, which is based on a review completed last summer. One of the areas he was deficient in was socializing with peers. Well, no more! He has so many friends now, and his friend James even saves him a seat in class. I would say that the school year has been a success for both of them.

However, I have to say that in comparing their first day of school pictures to their last day of school pictures, they look a lot more tired now. Maybe because I took the picture after school instead of before. I'm glad to know they are working hard! See below to compare:

To celebrate, I let the kids choose where to go to lunch. So, of course, we ended up at Rainforest Cafe. And then they were each allowed to pick whatever treat they wanted for $10. So, of course, Oli picked a spiderman today. And while Mac debated for a while, she went with 2 princess lip glosses.  Whenever Mac isn't allowed to get something, she knows exactly what she wants. But when she is given free choice, she often gets stressed out and either can't decide or shuts down and tantrums. Luckily, today went pretty well and the lip glosses were chosen with only one trip to and from the disney store. I even got to use up my birthday gift card from sephora, and got free happy birthday lotion (that sounds dirty, but it's not. they literally gave me a bottle of lotion that says happy birthday on it.) Here is a picture from the rainforest cafe. Although their food is overpriced and relatively unhealthy, they do have a really good veggie burger. And Mac loves their little hot dogs. So, between the food, the gifts, and of course, the company, we all enjoyed our afternoon greatly.

Living it Up in...Kentucky?

I am completely geeking it out this week at a social network analysis workshop at the University of Kentucky. It is a workshop that should help me design and run better studies using social network analysis. PSU is paying for part it, but the rest of the trip is economy style. As a result, I am staying in an old-school dorm for $20/night and walking everywhere. But so far, I really like it.

I had some scary preconceived notions about KY, but so far, none of them has been correct. The ride from the airport to campus was beautiful, as is the campus. The on-campus population is diverse, and people have been nice, but not creepy-nice. The weather is hot, but no worse than a hot & humid NJ day.

One of the best parts about being here is the gym. UK has a beautiful gym. The gym alone makes me want to get a job at a bigger university with a better gym. I have already gone to the gym 3 times - last night to run, this morning for elliptical and abs, and then after the workshop for a "core" class. There is even a rock-climbing wall, but I know my limits in coordination.

I am getting a lot of work (and working out) done, but I really miss my family. Mac always gives me mementos to bring with me. This time it was earrings and her Rapunzel doll. Whenever she gives me a stuffy, I take pictures and send them to her. Here is Rapunzel's trip to KY yesterday:

Getting off the plane at La Guardia (I had to fly out of Philly, stop in La Guardia, and then continue to Kentucky. Ridiculous.)

Waiting between flights. Rapunzel is out of control...it was barely noon!

Going from the airport to campus.

Going to bed. Not my best look, but I wanted to show the full day!

I Must Be a Lightening Rod

I went for my follow up appointment to the D&C yesterday. It turns out that what I had was a partial molar pregnancy. This means that there was some, but not complete, fetal tissue present in my little fetus. What was fetal tissue was overtaken by abnormal cells. Which means that it never really had a chance of surviving. It had a heartbeat, and certainly looked like a baby on the ultrasound, but it was just not "viable." A partial molar pregnancy sometimes, but not always, happens when the sperm deposits an extra set of chromosomes. Unfortunately, this becomes a placental abnormality that can, in rare occasions, turn into cancer. So I have to be monitored for at least 6 months, go for a chest x-ray to make sure it hasn't metastasized, and we can't even think about trying again for 6 months to a year. My doctor did say that she has never seen a molar pregnancy turn into cancer in 15 years, and from what I have read it is extremely rare. But all partial molar pregnancies need to be treated this way just in case. Not what I wanted to hear when I went in yesterday.

A partial molar pregnancy is considered very rare. The odds are 1 in a 1,000.

Spina bifida, although the most common permanently disabling birth defect, is considered rare. The odds are 1 in a 1,000.

So what are the odds that I would experience both? I actually can't do the math. My gut says 2 in 2,000, which then reduces to 1 in 1,000, so that can't be right. But, I would argue that it seems very unlikely that both would happen to the same person.

You can find a partial molar pregnancy listed in "What to Expect When Your Expecting" under the "Managing a Complicated Pregnancy," "Uncommon Pregnancy Complications" section. This section is prefaced with "The following complications of pregnancy are, for the most part, rare. The average pregnant woman is extremely unlikely to encounter any of them. So, again (and this deserves repeating), read this section only if you need to, and even then, read just what applies to you." And then the next two pages apply to me.

So I know this sounds a bit self-indulgent and whiny. Although I could not think of the positives yesterday, some wine, conversation with a good friend, and sleep have given me some perspective.

1. I know that at least there was nothing I could have done to save the baby. It was nothing I did. In fact, my body sustained the pregnancy with no sign of trouble for two weeks after it stopped developing. Even on a subconscious level, my body wanted and cared for this baby.

2. It is a completely random occurrence that shouldn't happen again. There is nothing genetically abnormal about Tim and I that caused this or should affect future pregnancies.

3. Aside from the fact that we were super excited to have another baby, my family basically rocks the way it is. Mac and Oli are great foils to each other, and we have really hit a groove. Would we have cherished this baby? Yes. Are we suffering over its loss? Yes. Are we still in a really good place together. Yes.

I think there is more, but I have forgotten. Suffice it to say that I feel a bit more "bruised" than I did before I went in for my appointment yesterday. Although I did not get complete closure, b/c the miscarriage process is now being dragged out for at least 6 more months of bloodwork and testing, I do feel a little more ready to move on. I'm not sure why or what changed, maybe just having some answers, even if they just lead to more questions.

Living High and Being Frugal, All in One Day

For the last year or so, Tim and I have tottered between being "financially challenged," and "doing okay." I have even taken on a part-time filing job with my mom to cushion the months that might be tougher. That said, we still eat out 3-4 times a week, managed a trip to Las Vegas (using frequent flier miles, of course) in March, and treat the kids pretty regularly. On the flip side, I have stopped getting my nails done, and work really hard to keep our grocery budget in check (without skimping on organic) using coupons and a stingy snack buying policy.

Some potentially expensive possibilities on the horizon: hiring someone to clean our house on a regular basis, joining a gym, and putting Mac in summer camp. Here is my reasoning for each:

No matter how hard we try, our house is a mess. Sometimes, it is even dirty. Even when we clean, it doesn't last very long. I am a relatively ineffective band-aid cleaner; that is, I can wander around the house straightening and wiping counters, but the house never looks any cleaner. Even though cleaning seems like it should be a universal skill, I am somehow bad at it. Tim is great at cleaning, but things have to get really bad before he uses this skill. The combined effect is not pretty. And considering my ongoing fear of child protective services paying us a visit based on something outlandish the kids might say at school, I feel like we need to step it up in the cleaning department. Plus, a clean house makes me feel so much calmer.

Of late, I have wanted to join a gym so that I can continue to run/work out despite the really crappy weather we have been having. But since my workout time is basically limited to the hour between when I can drag myself out of bed if I have to, and when the kids wake up and have to get ready for school, I am limited in how far I can drive. And how much I am willing to spend. Add to this that Tim feels that gyms are a waste of money, and I have been floundering. I really want to join the Y, b/c I feel like it is the civic minded thing to do, but it is more expensive than a "real" gym, and too far away to be of any use. I was feeling stuck for a solution, and had all but resolved to stay flabby for the summer.

Oli has been recommended for summer school, so that he can continue to receive PT three times a week, and I guess also to support his academic progress. There are two problems with this; he will be mad that he has to go and Mac doesn't, and Mac will be mad that Oli gets to go and she doesn't. No win situation. One of the parents at Mac's dance school recently recommended camp at the Y. I looked it up and it was not ideal (a combination of a weird age grouping and being sort of expensive). However, I was determined to balance out the summer experience for both kids.

All of these issues got resolved yesterday. The woman who cleans my mom's house came out to visit us and gave us a quote. She is going to come twice a month starting next week. Even Tim is on board. We are going to try it out for a month or two to see if it works in our budget. I don't like the idea of "outsourcing" something that is so fundamentally part of being a homeowner, but no amount of time juggling or half-hearted trying has resulted in a clean house. We might be spending money we don't have, but I am hoping the payoff is worth it.

I would like to think I am saving money with the solution to the other two problems, which is our local rec-center. I was able to find a 5-day a week, half-day, 5-week camp for Mac that overlaps almost perfectly with Oli's summer school. It is only 5 minutes away, and will take place in a local elementary school, just like Oli's summer school. Or should I say, Oli's summer "camp," which is what we are now calling it. This cost me $50.

For $5 extra, I was able to join the rec center, which has full gym equipment capability. They also have Yoga and other classes that I can join for a small fee. YAY! A close gym that is $5 for the year cannot be beat. And I am becoming an active member of our community in doing so. Community building )and frugal in one step. A dream come true.

I guess just like we try to live the work-family balance, we also have to live the need-want balance. I think that this week, I came out on top.

That sounds smug. I realize that it is only Friday afternoon, and I still have plenty of time to mess this up. Starting with the pedicures Mac and I are getting this afternoon. (Yes, I know what I said about saving money by not getting my nails done, but it has been over 3 months since I've gone, and Mac has been bugging me to go for weeks. It's her fault. Really.)