I am just that old

The other day, as I lay awake tossing and turning in bed, it hit me: I couldn't sleep because I had drunk a cup of coffee that afternoon. How could it affect me? I have always been an afternoon coffee drinker, although I've gotten away from the habit now that my afternoon commute is shorter. And then I realized: I can't drink caffeine late in the day because I am just that old now.

It has been coming for a while. Subtle lifestyle shifts here and there have led me down this path, and how, here I am.

A few ways I know that I just that old:

1. No full caff. in the afternoon.
2. I had Lasik ten years ago, and now I need glasses again. 
3. I have to wear makeup now. I made this realization on a day that I, unfortunately, did not wear makeup to work. I look so old and tired that I don't think people can even take me seriously.
4. I think I am getting jowls. If nothing else, I am fuller in the cheek/chin area. I also wake up puffy.
5. I constantly age-up my family. I practically assaulted Beth when she registered as 30 for a race we ran this spring, and accused her of lying. The whole ugly incident only took a minute, but for that minute, I couldn't believe that I was that much older than her.  And I always say Tim's age as one year older than he really is. For the record, he is only 33 now, and he just turned 33. I was 32 when Oli was born and that seems FOREVER ago.
6. I pee when I run and exercise. Forget laughing.

I'm sure that there is more, but of course I can't remember them, because I'm old!

The laptop Lunch

The other day I mentioned that I bought a laptop lunchbox to try to keep Mac eating healthy at school. Her Teacher has a morning snack policy, which means that the kids can take out their lunches and start eating them in the morning. I hate it b/c Mac goes through more snacks this way, for no reason (although if I was in her class, I realizable I would totally appreciate this policy). Anyway, hopefully the the portions will provide ample snack for morning and lunch. And I like that I was able to incorporate items I wouldn't normally put in b/c now, instead of being thrown in a baggie, they will be
protected, and also have the illusion of being a "side dish."

Mac is super excited now. We'll see what comes home uneaten.

In the spirit of not wasting...

How do carrots go from this:

to this:

to this:

The magic of a juicer! On the heels of my last post about wanting to be healthier and more economical, I have found a great ingredient in the mix. I got a juicer for Christmas, and have been making fresh juices for the last few days. Carrot is a staple ingredient, and I have mixed spinach, apples, oranges and ginger in it, too. It tastes great, but takes a surprisingly large amount of fruit to make a glass of juice. So maybe in that way, it isn't economical. However, the fruit and veggies produce pulp, which gets left behind in the juicer. So, I drink the juice, and then use the pulp for baking later. Although I try to keep us away from too many sweets, I have started to think that baking treats with fresh and sometimes organic ingredients is better than sending the kids off with a store bought snack, even if it is a 100 calorie pack, all of which have a surprisingly high amount of fat. (BTW -- I realize this sounds both crunchy and pretentious all at the same time, but believe me, we have our share of sam's club snacks in the house. How else would I know about the fat content in a 100 calories snack?)
Last week, I used a recipe from the Deceptively Delicious cookbook to make carrot muffins. They were okay, but not a hit with the kids. Last night we made these no bake oatmeal raisin carrot cake bites. They were more of a hit.
So, Mac enjoyed the carrot cake bites, I got my juice, and we didn't waste any food. All is good.
However...
Mac only got 3 of the 18 carrot cake bites. Tim and I ate the other 15! And we ate all 12 muffins last week in 24 hours. And the cookies I made two weeks ago, we finished almost all 24 of those in less than 24 hours. I have gained at least 2 lbs. from my "healthy eating experiment" and there are never any snacks left past the next day to pack in Mac's lunch!
And speaking of experiments -- I tried a new fried rice recipe with frozen trader joe's dumplings tonight. Mac literally spit her first bite back onto her plate (we are currently addressing table manners). Granted it was the dumplings and not the rice, but the rice wasn't much better received.  She ate what she had to eat to get dessert, and not a bite more. And you can imagine what happened to the rest.
That's right -- Tim and I ate it.

Crazy About Food

I am crazy about food. I love to eat! But I am also crazy about the price of our food, and the nutritional quality.

This has been a great week for both. I have spend a lot of time on food this week. I am always on the hunt for fresh food at the best price. Organic is very important to me. As vegetarians, we eat a lot of vegetables (duh), and I want to make sure they are top quality. Since we moved to PA, I have tried out numerous food stores, and I think I have narrowed it down to my top few places to get good, cheap, nutritious food.

Whole Foods: Expensive, yes, but not for everything. I can get bunched organic spinach and kale pretty cheap, and organic oatmeal and nuts from their bulk bins. Plus, their almond milk is decently priced. Even their regular milk runs about the same as everywhere else. And their organic frozen vegetables are my staples. Everything else is too expensive. I have to get in and out, and not be distracted by all of the healthy, earth friendly, overpriced extras.

Trader Joe's: Okay, I can't believe I'm saying this, but TJ's is kind of a crock. They are supposed to be healty, but almost everything is processed or prepared. Which is fine, but not so healthy. However, they do have a few great finds, including cookies, protein powder, and almond butter. And they are really nice.

Sam's Club: Although I used to feel like the produce there had no soul, I have recently been able to find a lot of staples, including organic apples and spinach, for a reasonable price. Sam's is now at the top of my list for a big stock up.


Co-op/Farmer's Market: We also have a co-op and a farmers market nearby. I think they will be even better in the summer.


Once I have all this food, I still have to figure out how to prepare it. Mac is a devoted "meatatarian" and Oli likes pasta and fruit loops. Even tim is more of a pasta/fake chikn' guy. I love salads, smoothies, and my favorite morning oatmeal. Most nights, when I tell Mac what we are eating, she says "yuk, that's disgusting" (almost no matter what it is). Most days, when I pack her lunch, she says "yuk, that's disgusting." However, she loves tacos and "salad bar" (where I put out a lot of fixings in little bowls and she can make what she wants). The key seems to be smaller bites that she can put together, instead of a big meal. So this weekend, I ordered her a laptop lunchbox, which is really a bento box that I can just stick little bites in. Since I never know what to pack her, I'm hoping this will help. Dinner is still hit or miss.

I am so jazzed up by my food week. I made it to 3 out of my 4 main stores, used lots of coupons, and am already thinking about what I can pick up next time. I am a loser, but at least I can eat to suppress it.

Soul Searching

One of the things that has been missing since we have moved is a regular church to go to. I was very involved in my old church, teaching sunday school and attending services every week. The kids were happy there, and received a good education rooted in the Bible. They had friends, and we would often spend all of sunday morning there.

When we moved here, I was on the lookout for a church right away. I looked up Methodist churches, since that is what we were attending in NJ, and I found one in nearby Chestnut Hill. After browsing through their site, I was impressed with their focus on diversity and inclusiveness. After attending a service, I was thrilled to find that they do pull out sunday school for the kids (which means I don't have to try to get the kids to sit through service, which I don't think that they could do), but they also are so committed to diversity that they have a LGBT group. However, in talking to some members of the congregation after service (including a co-worker who coincidentally attends), they told me how great it was that they didn't focus too much on affirmations and other God-related parts of church. I was nonplussed -- what is the point of church if you don't focus on God. So although I have attended 2 services since, I have done so with skepticism. This church has many great elements, but may be lacking in the fundamentals.

In the meantime, we spent 2 weekends in NJ, during which I went to a really cool Methodist church with Beth near her house. But that is not an option for regular attendance for me, since we now live pretty far apart.

I have also tried an evangelical Presbyterian church near my house on Christmas and was not impressed. I tried another nearby Methodist church, but they don't have anything for the kids to do during service and the whole thing felt a little awkward. Plus, Mackensie had a tremendous tantrum when we left (they leave stuffed animals in the pews for kids to play with during service, and of course, she wanted to bring it home), so I don't know if we can ever go back there. Finally, this past week, I tried the local Catholic church on my own. It was recommended by my aunt, whose niece and nephew on my uncle's side, attend. It was big and lovely -- I haven't seen so many people in church in a long time. It seems active and thriving, but with 2 drawbacks: 1)I'm not sure I want to return to Catholicism. I think I like the methodist interpretation of service and our relationship with God (direct rather than mediated through a priest), and I know that I don't like the Catholic church's refusal to let women have positions of power and absolute stance against homosexuality. That said, I know that the Catholic church has many great things to offer, and this church in particular seemed really cool. I could see raising the kids there and having them become active members of the congregation. However, drawback #2 was 2) no christian education on Sunday. Kids have to (gulp) sit through service with the exception of @ 20 minutes when the younger kids are pulled out for kids message. By the end of mass, it was quite loud with all of the stirrings and grumblings of the youth. If other people's kids can't make it through, I know mine can't. And to separate out education from the day of worship seems like an extra step that we might not be able to consistently make. But maybe the plusses outweigh the minuses.

Ultimately, this search has become much more than just picking a new congregation. It has become about reaffirming what I believe, and choosing how I want the kids to be raised spiritually. I love what the Chestnut Hill church stands for, but when I read that their website says that they don't take the Bible literally, I was taken aback. However, when I think about it, how literally do I take the Bible? I know that my faith is strong, and because of that, I minimize inconsistencies between what I believe and what the Bible says. And, as the minister pointed out to me this morning, the Bible itself has inconsistencies (she mentioned 2 creation stories, which I was not aware of, but I didn't ask). But I am still somehow afraid that I am taking the "easy way out" if I view the Bible as open to interpretations. At the same time, I know that there are things that I don't agree with (stance on homosexuality) or adhere to (women covering their heads in public), so to choose a church that takes it literally while still staying true to my beliefs is somewhat problematic.

Ironically, since I started writing this post (over a span of 2 days, it's not like the phone rang mid-post. That would have been cool, though...) the pastor from the chestnut hill church just called to discuss me becoming a member. I gave her my questions and objections, and she answered them pretty well. She did say that it is a Christian church and that "Jesus is our guy." She said that they believe the Bible is inspired by God, but that God is still revealing himself to us, and that we have to use the Bible as a guide with that revelation, not an absolute. She told me that the christian education does emphasize the bible, but that rather than covering many stories, they stay with the same story for 4 weeks and approach it from different learning methods. It all sounded good, but I am still not 100% sold. However, she invited me to continue the dialogue any time, and told me that the other pastor actually teaches seminary at a great school in NY, so I am thinking that I could also talk to him about how to read the Bible as a both a literal, an an interpretive, text.

I still don't know what to do. For me, faith has been a journey that has taken many paths. I have been strengthened in it by many different people, and I feel that everyplace I have stopped has been worthwhile. So I am not afraid to take a detour for myself. However, I know the way that I was raised in faith has been a cornerstone of my journey; something to compare everything else to. I want to make sure that I give Mac and Oli the same advantage of having a strong, solid, and secure idea of faith to serve as their cornerstone throughout their own journeys. Which path is next?