This Girl's Birthday

For Mackensie's birthday, we made the pigrimage to NYC to the American Girl store. It was a wonderful day. Our time in NY was marked by true joy and wonder. Things that could have been overheard on our trip:  "I love you," "You're the best mom," "This is the best birthday ever," "This restaurant is even cooler than the American Girl cafe" and "I want to do this every year." Mackensie only offers praise when she means it, so I know she really enjoyed the day! I think it was one of my favorite birthdays, too!

We started with lunch at Bill's Bar and Burger. It was a stumble upon, in that we didn't plan to eat there, but it was delicious and reasonably priced. I'll admit that I started with a Sam Seasonal. I wasn't sure what the store would be like, and I felt like a little preparation couldn't hurt :)

One of Mac's dolls, Layla, joined us. She apparently won the contest that was running among Mac's AG dolls, which earned her the coveted trip to her place of origin. Her reward? Getting to watch us eat lunch, and the new bracelets that Mac made for her at lunch. The bands came with the kids meal.

 

Then, we were off to the store. It was big, but not quite as big as I had expected. However, the amount of accessories and details available all under one roof was amazing. There was the general store, the library/book store, the floor for the historical dolls, a salon for doll ear piercing and hair-dos, a pet store, and a hospital. On the floors we didn't visit, there was also a restaurant and the Bitty Baby nursery.

 

 Although she isn't intersested in owning her, Mac also got acquainted with the new girl of the year.

 I have a love/hate relationship with American Girl dolls. Or, at least, a love/not-love relationship with them. I feel like they carry with them an inherent sense of uncessary privilege. It's sort of like clothes for pets; they are super cute, but I kind of feel like no pet should have clothes until every human is adequately clothed. These dolls have privileges that most kids will never know. Their outfits cost more than mine. I don't know why that bothers me more than other toys/hobbies/past times, but it does. That said, I get the appeal, especially to young girls. The detail is exquisite, and the storyline that most of the dolls come with can really inspire imagination.

In keeping with these observations, I'm not sure if the below sign makes me optimistic for our economy, or pessimistic about our culture.

And we certainly did our part to help with the economy. Although, we did make Mac save her own money, and use birthday money, to fund her purchases.

And lest I come across as someone who is above the call of consumerism and branding, I made sure that we had our customary stop at Starbucks, where I had a near meltdown because they didn't have salt for a salted caramel mocha. Yes, I did reign it in, but I had to talk myself down a little. What was I saying about privilege and society??

But look how happy it made us...

 

It was a wonderful trip that brought out the best in all of us. We were blessed with good weather, an easy trip into the City, and a chance to give Mac some one-on-one time while we knew the boys were well taken care of. I can't think of a better way to mark the birthday of my special girl.

Where Does the Time Go?

October 2013

May 2007

In advance of her ninth birthday, I will ask, Where does the time go?

It is a trite question, and actually easy to answer. The time has morphed together into 3,279 days of diapers, toys, playing, crying, laughing, yelling, reading, coloring, writing, running, learning, loving and growing. Although time has gone by quickly, I can remember so many of the days clearly, and for that I am grateful.

But when I look at pictures like this back to back, it is hard to believe that they are the same person. That my funny, opinionated, smart, outspoken Mac was ever a baby. OR that this little toddler turned into my Mac (although, to be fair, a few pictures later in this photo album there is a picture of baby Mac having a tantrum, with a look on her face that  I recognize even today). Someday, I will be comparing a picture of teen Mackensie to this picture of 8 year old Mackensie, and wondering how we got there.

And I will know, I will remember the days, but it will still be hard to believe.

A picture really is worth a thousand words, or, a couple thousand days.

The Coffee is Good, The House is Quiet

Just taking a few minutes before what I know is going to be a hectic day begins. The kids and I have been battling a bug since last Friday. Poor Mac got it the worst. This is what she looked like at the height of it


Thank God, I never got the "throw up" part, so I was able to take care of everyone. Each kid went through it, but Miles and Oli recovered pretty quickly. Tim had to work through most of it, which was maybe a good thing. I was hoping he would be spared.

Fast forward to last night.

He slept downstairs because his stomach felt funny. I will admit, I thought he was being dramatic. Tim gets "sick" very easily. But when I woke up at 5:30 this morning (it's hard to sleep without your other by your side) and came downstairs, he looked remarkably like Mackensie in the picture above. I considered taking a photo, but decided against it.

I couldn't fall back to sleep with worry over what the day would bring. So I decided to get up and get started. I made some coffee, checked into the online Bible study I've been doing (it is ANCHORED on Facebook and being run by one of the bloggers I read), and decided to start the day early. Of course, I am procrastinating now, but I couldn't help it...

The coffee is good and the house is quiet...

For the next hour I should be able to hear myself think.

After that, all bets are off.

Revisiting the Balance

So I've whined written a lot about work/life balance. I still don't have it covered, but for once, I feel it is getting better. What's the secret? Prayer, acceptance, and an afternoon dark roast from Starbucks.

Often, in the same day, I will think "I really love my job" and "I wish I didn't have to work outside the home." There would be something so satisfying about being able to focus the bulk of my time and attention on maintaining a clean and orderly house, really being able to focus more on the kids, and creating a good environment for me and Tim. It's not to say that I don't do all that, but I know where I fall short. I can't plan ahead, I don't anticipate, and the details get lost. I'm in perpetual survival mode. For example, I have all sorts of thoughts swirling in my head about cute valentines day crafts and ways to make the kids and Tim feel special on V-day. Hanging paper projects? Special V-day breakfast? Cards? Decorations? And don't forget about school! The kids need Valentines for friends, party goodies, and I often see them come home with little goody bags put together by other parents. And when I see those, I think "Who has time for that?" And there is a little scorn in my tone. But really, it's a bit of jealousy, too. And I know when the day comes, I will have hopefully have cobbled together a small basket of goodies for each kid, and maybe a card for Tim. It will be fine, but how nice to be able to do more, something that the kids remember and think "I'm so glad my mom did that." Or something that makes Tim think "My wife really loves me. She treats me so well."

Two things: 1. I realize Valentines day isn't that big a deal. It is a fun mini-holiday, and nothing more. But it is just an example of one of the times that I want to put planning and forethought into something, and it just doesn't get done. 2. I realize that the time spent with the kids and Tim is the way to show them that I love them. And luckily, I think I have that important part down. But it is more the little details that get lost in the shuffle, and I want to find a way to capture them. That is when I wish my focus was only on God, family, and building a better world through the details.

But--

I also love my job. There are days when I am writing or lesson planning (instead of procrastinating, like I'm doing now) where I sit back and consciously think "I love this." There are days when I don't, but I think that's normal. I wish that I could devote more time to it. I think I could be better at it. I want to be great at it. I try to find bits of time, after the kids are in bed, to devote to it. I've found that an afternoon dark roast is critical to achieving this nighttime burst of productivity. And even when I don't get everything done, when I look back at my week, I find more often than not that I'm hitting the big things now. Here, too, I would love to be able to pay more attention to the details. Read new articles as they come out, really explore in research rather than patch stuff together just to get it done.

I still strive to be better at both parts of my life, but I am currently in a place where I can happily accept where I am in each. I think a lot of this has come through prayer. Praying to God that I am focusing my attention in the right place. Asking Him to tell me if I should be pursuing more time home with the kids, or if teaching and writing really is where he wants me. And He has opened up new doors of opportunity at work that make me feel like I am in the right place right now, and that is comforting. So I will keep balancing until He tells me otherwise. Giving my best to both areas.

Will I be stressed?

Of course. It's hard wired into me. But for the most part, it is different now.

Will I be over-caffeinated?

Yes, probably.


It's a really good thing that I love coffee :)

This Guy

What can I say about this guy? He is amazing, energetic, adorable, opinionated, hungry, demanding, and basically a fireball. He makes Mackensie look tame, almost meek. This guy knows what he wants, when he wants it, and how. And he isn't afraid to let everyone know.

Playing with the big kids

When he was a newborn, Miles was so laid back. Everyone commented on what an easy baby he was, and I agreed. Other than a phase of crying between 5 and 7 p.m. for a couple of months, he was easy. Good eater, good sleeper, cutest smiles; basically a rockstar.

Then he turned one.

But I want it my way!

All of a sudden -- not so easy going. Although he was late to the solid foods game, once he developed a taste for them, there was no going back. He now screams like (I can only imagine) a pterodactyl if food isn't delivered in a timely manner. If he has eaten his fill for breakfast, and then I take out more food to make the big kids' lunches, he immediately screams for more. I now have to remove him from the kitchen when I feel he has eaten enough, otherwise he will continue to cry (scream) for more.




Did I mention he's mobile?

Oh, yeah. Not quite walking yet, but into everything. And when I say everything, that includes the toilet bowl. We have baby gates set up at the steps (which he managed to squeeze underneath and climb the stairs once) and blocking off the dining room/playroom area, but he knows how to circle the living room and kitchen. And quite unfortunately, the door to the spare room doesn't latch, so he is always in there trying to topple the dvd rack.

No, I'm not kidding.

I don't remember Mac or Oli being like this, although Oli wasn't really mobile. But we never had to baby proof with them. We have had to baby proof every inch of our house with this one, even the oven broiler. We have found remote controls, toys, and even him sitting in it.

Fewer and farther between, but even sweeter

Although he can hardly be contained, there are times when he is so tired out that he will still deign to sit on my lap and snuggle. Even though those times often come after he is supposed to be in bed (did I mention he won't go to sleep anymore?), and I am supposed to be working, I can't resist a good snuggle. There is nothing sweeter in the whole world.

And he still has the best smile. And a rockstar personality. And he is developing an inquisitive nature. I think this one is going to be smart, outgoing, and a LOT of trouble.

But no matter what, he will always be my love.

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