Where We Hit and Where We Miss

Lately, it seems like the cost of everything is out of control. We try to live on a pretty tight budget. For a while, we did the Dave Ramsey envelope system. But we aren't so great about taking the time to get the cash at the beginning of each month, so we debit for a while, and then the amounts get all messed up. For the last few months, we haven't even gotten the cash at all. And it shows. Little purchases here and there that really add up. I have a hard time putting a cash amount on certain things, thinking "It couldn't really cost that much!" and then underestimating; and Tim has a hard time finding the value in some things, and then doesn't budget for that category even though we need to.So while we still give every dollar a home when we get paid, the dollars have been moving without our tacit permission.

With us going down to one income for a month or two (or three, or more. It really depends on how quickly the karate school takes off), I've been stewing the cost of living over in my head. There are some places where we still really hit it in terms of saving, and there are other places that are flat out misses.

I'll start with the good:

1. Nails: Anyone who knows me knows I love my nails. Long and acrylic. These Jersey nails really miss their  pizzaz. And it is finally in style to have long, fake nails (I get that is subjective, but it is more common than usual. Thanks Rihanna!) But it is really hard to justify adding that to the budget. @ $20 bi-weekly adds up to $520 a year. Actually, that doesn't sound that bad. But I know that money could be better spend somewhere else (again, subjective, but I guess Tim knows that money could be better spent somewhere else :)

2. Hair: I color my hair at home, which has so far worked out pretty well. I did fine it sort of silly to pay $60 or more to have someone help me find the perfect shade of brown. ummm...and especially since my increasing grays have me coloring more often than in the past, it is a budgetary item I again can't justify. But...I tried something different last time, sort of a purplish brown, and while it came out well, I can tell I didn't apply the color evenly. And my hair is kind of dry. So I'm wondering if maybe the extra money is worth it...

3. Hobbies: We are pretty good at not spending money on extras. We did have the kids in swim, but they revolted and refused to go. So after a few months of holding onto our Y membership, which I use occasionally, we decided to drop it. At the discounted Y rate, we were paying $70 a month, and that can definitely go somewhere else (nails?!). I will miss it, especially in the winter when I can't run, but  maybe we will get a used treadmill.

4. Used Stuff: We buy a lot of it. And we price compare online and then usually order cheap stuff online. It works a lot better than I thought it could.

5. House Stuff: I haven't bought holiday themed place mats in years. We could actually use new pillows (this I"m getting. Soon. It's just an example). We take care of big stuff like the shed (okay, our home owner's insurance made us do that), but for the little stuff we try to get by on what we have.

6. Saving: We manage to save every month, and also put money toward Tim's retirement (mine is automatic).

I'm sure there is other stuff Tim has given up, but I don't realize it. We do talk about almost every purchase, so we have to agree on it before we buy it. Luckily, we agree on most of it. But I do miss my own credit card, where I could have a target splurge or, well, get my nails done...

Groceries: Groceries go in the middle, b/c despite my best efforts, I feel like we overspend. I think we spend $160-$180 a month on just groceries. We don't have a stocked pantry -- I pretty much buy what we need and then we eat it. We rarely have a lot left over on foodshopping day (which makes us eat out, so maybe I should buy more groceries). I do buy organic dairy and I try to buy quality meat and fish. The vegetarian in me still skeeves at factory sourced meat). And fruit. Probably this isn't that unreasonable, but I can't believe how much we spend for one week. And we usually eat out 1-2 times a week. Or more lately.

The Ugly:

Eating Out: Bad Chewnings! Actually, not horrible, but we have gotten lax. I can't say no. I actually did last night, but only b/c we've spend so much lately. But I love me some food, and going out gives us so much more variety than eating home.

Supplements: We bought the new P90x3 workout series, and with it, we bought recovery shake, a pre-work out supplement, and then there is something else that Tim takes. And I have bought a supergreen powder for morning smoothies (which I did price compare and got the cheapest that had good reviews.) All of this is probably unnecessary. But soo good!

Buying Stuff: We all "needed" some new clothes for the summer, and once the floodgates opened, we really got stuff. Again, not horrible. All on sale. But possibly more than we needed. For example, Tim and I both got some new workout gear the other day. We didin't spend a ton, but arguably, we could have done without. And we each got a new pair of crossfit sneakers for P90X (again, off of ebay, and i think mine might be used, but still...) And one of us has gotten into the habit of buying online comics and video game skins. Not saying who, but...

I'm sure there is more, since things have been feeling kind of "loose" lately. But I know we have to reign it in soon. One thing that will save us a lot is that we won't have a babysitter from the middle of June through the end of August. Our babysitter is money very well spent, but she is going away for the summer. However, Tim is taking off the month of July to prep for the school, and will then be building out the school in August, so he will have the extra time to watch the kids.

I know we actually have everything we need. It is just a matter of not wanting anymore. That is sooo much harder than it sounds, and I underestimate it every time. But it's been almost a year since I had my nails wrapped, and before that, I had gone a year, too. So if I can do that, I think we can do anything.

Where We're At

Sometimes, I'm not really sure.

But a brief overview of our recent achievements and trials:

Broad Street Run

I'll pick back up where I left off. I made it!! 10 miles in what was almost a personal record: 1:30:19. I ran a 5k a few weeks before with a sub-9 minute mile, which was AWESOME, but, I thought I was going to die. Could never have sustained that pace for an entire 10 miles. So, it was actually a good lesson to learn before Broad St. I didn't start to get tired until half way though mile 7. And the best part? Thanks to some very generous donations and a connected super-Uncle, I was able to raise $1800 for Fred's Footsteps.

I'm still in training for the Odyssey Half Marathon in June. I'm hoping for a running buddy but might be doing it alone. I'm still nervous, but running Broad St. boosted my confidence a lot. My interest in running had waned, and I was much more into our new P90X3 (it's always something with me and Tim), but I'm back on the run again!

my post-race treat

Oli

While there is plenty of other stuff going on, Oli has had the lion's share of my time and attention lately. Although we are always conscious of the spina bifida, we can go for a good stretch of time without it becoming acute. However, we've recently hit a series of events that remind me just how much he has to deal with.  

He has certainly experienced an increased awareness that he is "different,"especially with Miles walking now. He seems a bit sadder lately, a bit moodier. He can still be uplifted by super hero anything, but he isn't always himself. In some ways, he is regressing. Maybe becoming a bit less focused, acting and talking more like a "baby." I had his IEP meeting last week, and his teachers (main and support) said that while he is on par academically (YAY! HUGE!), he is not proactive or engaged enough. On the plus side, they said he is capable of more, on the negative side, he isn't trying.  I know what they are saying. Sometimes, he just doesn't want to do anything, and other times, he seems to forget what I've said. For example, all day on a Saturday, I can talk about going to meet daddy out after work, but then when we get in the car, he asks where we are going. He doesn't seem to track everything that is going on. I'm not sure if he isn't engaged b/c he isn't tracking, or he isn't tracking b/c he isn't engaged. We have a clinic appointment on Wednesday, and we are going to look into getting him registered for a neuropsych evaluation that will give us more insight into his memory and focus issues.

He has also been out of braces for months, shortly after we went rogue and stopped serial casting him. It hadn't been working, and he was missing a day of school a week. Plus, it was really hard to coordinate with our work schedules. We are going to address this in clinic, too. I brought it up via email, and our clinic coordinator said to think about our/Oli's long term mobility goals. As much as I hate to say it, I think the wheelchair is it. The HKFOs he has to wear just to use his walker are so heavy that he wouldn't be able to lift his body weight onto furniture or in the car. And I can't lift him anymore even without the braces, so I can't imagine how we could go back to them (even if they fit). He flies around in the wheelchair, and I think it gives him more autonomy, so it seems to be the way to go. But at this point, he can't even wear shoes. We'll see what Wednesday brings.

Finally, my poor guy had a horrible reaction to disposable training pants this week. He has all but outgrown size 6 diapers, so I went out and bought him disposable training pants. Within hours, he was broken out from thighs to neck. He is doing better, but I'm afraid to try anything new. Add this to the list for Wednesday.

either he is hiding from it all, or he is just a straight up goofball

Mac

Growing up so quickly. Don't even... 


Miles

Really couldn't be cuter...my happy little snausage



Tim

Looking to open up a martial arts school in the neighborhood, but sort of getting the run around on the location he wants. We looked for possible alternates today -- we'll see what happens. Hopefully, it will all work out. It would be so nice to have him closer to home, as well as home more often. We'll keep praying...

Overall

Happy, tired, and crazed. Looking forward to the summer. Can't wait to see what happens next!

Ever Day I'm Running

Okay, not literally. Not even close. February was the longest.month.ever. Which is ironic, b/c it is the shortest month of the year. We were sick straight from 2/5 through 3/7. And Miles is still on antibiotics. We have had everything from norovirus, to strep, to a double ear infection. Fevers? We've had those. Did I mention that I also had periods where my limbs would just go numb? The doctor thinks it is a vitamin D deficiency, and so far, taking a supplement has helped. But really, February sucked (other than some special birthdays, of course). Work -- what's that? Exercise -- huh?

I did manage to get some runs in, and I worked back into lifting weights. And I dreamed big. I signed up for a June half marathon with Beth. And just the other day, I signed up for the Broad Street Run. I signed up through  Fred's Footsteps, which is the organization that funded Oli's accessibility ramp. We love them. They are a generous organization with a great cause, and happen to be staffed by very nice people. In addition to the accessibility ramp, they sent us Target giftcards at back to school time and during Christmas, as well as an Acme giftcard at Thanksgiving. We were even part of the video they showed at their fundraising event this year. So it is a win/win. I get to fund raise for a great organization -- AND -- I get to run a race that I have wanted to run for years now. I was signed up in 2012, and found out that I was pregnant with Miles. I have heard that it is a lot of fun, and really motivational. I can't wait.

Yesterday was day 1 of "training," and I didn't even get out the door. But today, I capitalized on the weather and after walking Mac to school, set out on a run. Since I don't have GPS on my phone anymore, I don't know exactly how far I ran or in what time, but I did somewhere between 3 1/2 and 4 miles in I have no idea how long, since the podcast I was using to time it restarted right at the end of my run. I've run a half marathon before, so I know that I can do it, but I also remember that it was hard.

Hopefully, the weather will hold, and I'll be able to kick training into full gear. I'm looking forward to getting back into top running shape, and I'm really looking forward to running the races I have lined up. This year, I will spring ahead with speed!

This Girl's Birthday

For Mackensie's birthday, we made the pigrimage to NYC to the American Girl store. It was a wonderful day. Our time in NY was marked by true joy and wonder. Things that could have been overheard on our trip:  "I love you," "You're the best mom," "This is the best birthday ever," "This restaurant is even cooler than the American Girl cafe" and "I want to do this every year." Mackensie only offers praise when she means it, so I know she really enjoyed the day! I think it was one of my favorite birthdays, too!

We started with lunch at Bill's Bar and Burger. It was a stumble upon, in that we didn't plan to eat there, but it was delicious and reasonably priced. I'll admit that I started with a Sam Seasonal. I wasn't sure what the store would be like, and I felt like a little preparation couldn't hurt :)

One of Mac's dolls, Layla, joined us. She apparently won the contest that was running among Mac's AG dolls, which earned her the coveted trip to her place of origin. Her reward? Getting to watch us eat lunch, and the new bracelets that Mac made for her at lunch. The bands came with the kids meal.

 

Then, we were off to the store. It was big, but not quite as big as I had expected. However, the amount of accessories and details available all under one roof was amazing. There was the general store, the library/book store, the floor for the historical dolls, a salon for doll ear piercing and hair-dos, a pet store, and a hospital. On the floors we didn't visit, there was also a restaurant and the Bitty Baby nursery.

 

 Although she isn't intersested in owning her, Mac also got acquainted with the new girl of the year.

 I have a love/hate relationship with American Girl dolls. Or, at least, a love/not-love relationship with them. I feel like they carry with them an inherent sense of uncessary privilege. It's sort of like clothes for pets; they are super cute, but I kind of feel like no pet should have clothes until every human is adequately clothed. These dolls have privileges that most kids will never know. Their outfits cost more than mine. I don't know why that bothers me more than other toys/hobbies/past times, but it does. That said, I get the appeal, especially to young girls. The detail is exquisite, and the storyline that most of the dolls come with can really inspire imagination.

In keeping with these observations, I'm not sure if the below sign makes me optimistic for our economy, or pessimistic about our culture.

And we certainly did our part to help with the economy. Although, we did make Mac save her own money, and use birthday money, to fund her purchases.

And lest I come across as someone who is above the call of consumerism and branding, I made sure that we had our customary stop at Starbucks, where I had a near meltdown because they didn't have salt for a salted caramel mocha. Yes, I did reign it in, but I had to talk myself down a little. What was I saying about privilege and society??

But look how happy it made us...

 

It was a wonderful trip that brought out the best in all of us. We were blessed with good weather, an easy trip into the City, and a chance to give Mac some one-on-one time while we knew the boys were well taken care of. I can't think of a better way to mark the birthday of my special girl.

Where Does the Time Go?

October 2013

May 2007

In advance of her ninth birthday, I will ask, Where does the time go?

It is a trite question, and actually easy to answer. The time has morphed together into 3,279 days of diapers, toys, playing, crying, laughing, yelling, reading, coloring, writing, running, learning, loving and growing. Although time has gone by quickly, I can remember so many of the days clearly, and for that I am grateful.

But when I look at pictures like this back to back, it is hard to believe that they are the same person. That my funny, opinionated, smart, outspoken Mac was ever a baby. OR that this little toddler turned into my Mac (although, to be fair, a few pictures later in this photo album there is a picture of baby Mac having a tantrum, with a look on her face that  I recognize even today). Someday, I will be comparing a picture of teen Mackensie to this picture of 8 year old Mackensie, and wondering how we got there.

And I will know, I will remember the days, but it will still be hard to believe.

A picture really is worth a thousand words, or, a couple thousand days.