Revisiting the Balance

So I've whined written a lot about work/life balance. I still don't have it covered, but for once, I feel it is getting better. What's the secret? Prayer, acceptance, and an afternoon dark roast from Starbucks.

Often, in the same day, I will think "I really love my job" and "I wish I didn't have to work outside the home." There would be something so satisfying about being able to focus the bulk of my time and attention on maintaining a clean and orderly house, really being able to focus more on the kids, and creating a good environment for me and Tim. It's not to say that I don't do all that, but I know where I fall short. I can't plan ahead, I don't anticipate, and the details get lost. I'm in perpetual survival mode. For example, I have all sorts of thoughts swirling in my head about cute valentines day crafts and ways to make the kids and Tim feel special on V-day. Hanging paper projects? Special V-day breakfast? Cards? Decorations? And don't forget about school! The kids need Valentines for friends, party goodies, and I often see them come home with little goody bags put together by other parents. And when I see those, I think "Who has time for that?" And there is a little scorn in my tone. But really, it's a bit of jealousy, too. And I know when the day comes, I will have hopefully have cobbled together a small basket of goodies for each kid, and maybe a card for Tim. It will be fine, but how nice to be able to do more, something that the kids remember and think "I'm so glad my mom did that." Or something that makes Tim think "My wife really loves me. She treats me so well."

Two things: 1. I realize Valentines day isn't that big a deal. It is a fun mini-holiday, and nothing more. But it is just an example of one of the times that I want to put planning and forethought into something, and it just doesn't get done. 2. I realize that the time spent with the kids and Tim is the way to show them that I love them. And luckily, I think I have that important part down. But it is more the little details that get lost in the shuffle, and I want to find a way to capture them. That is when I wish my focus was only on God, family, and building a better world through the details.

But--

I also love my job. There are days when I am writing or lesson planning (instead of procrastinating, like I'm doing now) where I sit back and consciously think "I love this." There are days when I don't, but I think that's normal. I wish that I could devote more time to it. I think I could be better at it. I want to be great at it. I try to find bits of time, after the kids are in bed, to devote to it. I've found that an afternoon dark roast is critical to achieving this nighttime burst of productivity. And even when I don't get everything done, when I look back at my week, I find more often than not that I'm hitting the big things now. Here, too, I would love to be able to pay more attention to the details. Read new articles as they come out, really explore in research rather than patch stuff together just to get it done.

I still strive to be better at both parts of my life, but I am currently in a place where I can happily accept where I am in each. I think a lot of this has come through prayer. Praying to God that I am focusing my attention in the right place. Asking Him to tell me if I should be pursuing more time home with the kids, or if teaching and writing really is where he wants me. And He has opened up new doors of opportunity at work that make me feel like I am in the right place right now, and that is comforting. So I will keep balancing until He tells me otherwise. Giving my best to both areas.

Will I be stressed?

Of course. It's hard wired into me. But for the most part, it is different now.

Will I be over-caffeinated?

Yes, probably.


It's a really good thing that I love coffee :)

This Guy

What can I say about this guy? He is amazing, energetic, adorable, opinionated, hungry, demanding, and basically a fireball. He makes Mackensie look tame, almost meek. This guy knows what he wants, when he wants it, and how. And he isn't afraid to let everyone know.

Playing with the big kids

When he was a newborn, Miles was so laid back. Everyone commented on what an easy baby he was, and I agreed. Other than a phase of crying between 5 and 7 p.m. for a couple of months, he was easy. Good eater, good sleeper, cutest smiles; basically a rockstar.

Then he turned one.

But I want it my way!

All of a sudden -- not so easy going. Although he was late to the solid foods game, once he developed a taste for them, there was no going back. He now screams like (I can only imagine) a pterodactyl if food isn't delivered in a timely manner. If he has eaten his fill for breakfast, and then I take out more food to make the big kids' lunches, he immediately screams for more. I now have to remove him from the kitchen when I feel he has eaten enough, otherwise he will continue to cry (scream) for more.




Did I mention he's mobile?

Oh, yeah. Not quite walking yet, but into everything. And when I say everything, that includes the toilet bowl. We have baby gates set up at the steps (which he managed to squeeze underneath and climb the stairs once) and blocking off the dining room/playroom area, but he knows how to circle the living room and kitchen. And quite unfortunately, the door to the spare room doesn't latch, so he is always in there trying to topple the dvd rack.

No, I'm not kidding.

I don't remember Mac or Oli being like this, although Oli wasn't really mobile. But we never had to baby proof with them. We have had to baby proof every inch of our house with this one, even the oven broiler. We have found remote controls, toys, and even him sitting in it.

Fewer and farther between, but even sweeter

Although he can hardly be contained, there are times when he is so tired out that he will still deign to sit on my lap and snuggle. Even though those times often come after he is supposed to be in bed (did I mention he won't go to sleep anymore?), and I am supposed to be working, I can't resist a good snuggle. There is nothing sweeter in the whole world.

And he still has the best smile. And a rockstar personality. And he is developing an inquisitive nature. I think this one is going to be smart, outgoing, and a LOT of trouble.

But no matter what, he will always be my love.

Best Smiler

 

 

 

 

 

The Tail End

I've heard people say that they don't like this "awkward" week between Christmas and the New Year. They are ready to welcome the New Year and let go of the old one. I'm in no rush. Maybe it is  because I don't really make resolutions or set goals for the New Year (It's not that I don't think I need improvement, but I tend to set new goals or make changes as I feel I need them) It could also be that Tim, the kids, and I all have this week off, which gives us a sweet spot of family time. We are a little looser with the budget, going on more outings, having more meals, and enjoying a few extra lattes :) 

For example, this year we:

Visited with Tim's parents and uncle on Thursday. Because of his mom's health, we didn't travel up on Christmas, but rather went the Sunday before. We didn't want to put the pressure of a meal on her on Christmas, and also, didn't want to take the kids up there and then have her not feel well. We were afraid it would ruin her Christmas. But without the pressure of the holiday, she felt well enough to drive down on Thursday and we had a nice visit. Including pizza.

Had a BIG SLEEPOVER on Friday. Mac has been bee-eee-ggg--ing for a sleepover with her friend Zoe for about a year now. We decided that the time had finally come. So, with some trepidation, we had Zoe over and let the kids make a fort in the playroom. Even though I thought that having all the windows and letting the sun in would wake them at the crack of dawn, they slept until 8:30! No fighting! All fun! Mac was so happy, and it translated into a really helpful attitude for the rest of Saturday. Also on Friday, we went shopping and spent some Christmas gift money. Hello ULTA :)

Saturday was our biggest and best outing. We went to Hershey Park for Christmas in Hershey. Luckily, it was a 50 degree day, so the weather was chilly, but not cold.  The kids got to go on a few rides, and then we visited chocolate world. The park was decorated in tons of lights, and it felt very cozy and special. We will definitely do this again next year!

 

Sunday was church, food shopping and lunch at Wegman's, and then dinner with friends at Campbell's Place in Chestnut Hill. We have stopped going there in favor of Iron Hill Brewery, but now that we have been reminded how good it is, I think we will return soon. Their veggie burger is so good that I return to my vegetarian ways. And their beer is delicious, too :)

Monday -- Christmas with family! My dad, pat, Beth, Mike, and Harry came down and we celebrated Christmas. It was fun to host, and great to see everyone! Plus, I got the blender I have been dyy-ing for ever since my old blender died in October (which resulted in me eating bits of plastic and thinking they were hard parts of pumpkin in my pumpkin puree). Homemade soup, hummus and smoothees, here we come!

In between activities, I have been working, Oli has been playing video games nonstop, and we have been having a season 7 Psych-a-thon. 

I am starting to feel a little burnt out, but I am also not ready to have everything go back to normal yet. The kids go back to school Thursday, and I'm sure that we will take down the decoration this weekend. But until then, I'm going to enjoy stretching out the holidays just a little bit longer.

Christmas!!

After all of the build up, work, and anticipation, it arrived! And it was a ton of fun.

Christmas for us always starts on Christmas Eve. It is one of my favorite family traditions. It used to involve going to my grandparents' house for pea and potato soup, pierogies, and ham. I have always loved being with my grandma (and, when he was alive, my grandpa). Especially since my parent's divorce when I was 11, they always made me feel safe and good. In some years, that was also the only time I really saw my aunt and uncle, which is always a treat. Add to the mix my mom, who I can't get enough of, and of course, Dale and my sisters, and it is no wonder that Christmas Eve is one of the best days of the year.

The location and the menu have changed a bit, but the spirit of the day is still the same.

This year we gathered at my mom's house. The snacks, drinks, and conversation were enough to keep the adults busy, but the kids were restless. I was empathetic, since I vividly remember feeling the exact same way when I was younger. We had to wait until after dinner to open gifts, and I remember my mom saying that we had to wait because everyone was relaxing and talking. When I was younger, I wondered what was so great about talking. Now I get it, but I also understand the temptation of a huge pile of gifts. So we let the kids open early.

check out the massive pile of gifts!

a beautiful bracelet for my beautiful girl. she loves accessories. we joke that it must have skipped a generation or two.

Oli figuring out a puzzle with Uncle Bob. That ball haunted us for days until Tim finally "won" the game.

misteltoe

My amazing (and stylish) grandma. I love her so much!

Oli in the coolest coat ever.

a Miles meltdown

My wonderful mom and amazing Miles. We don't have enough pictures together. I lover her so much!

Enjoying time with people I don't see nearly enough of!

My sisters are the best aunts ever!

For the first year EVER, we weren't traveling anywhere on Christmas. And I mean the first time since I was 11. Until I started dating Tim, Beth and I would wake up and open gifts with whomever had "custody" of us Christmas morning (or just my mom's house once we got older), then go to church and see my dad for lunch, and then head to Suz's house for dinner. Once I started dating Tim, we cut out Suz's house to visit his parents instead. This year, since we saw Tim's parents on Sunday, we decided we would just stay home on Christmas. I was a little afraid it would be a bit boring, given my previously detailed traveling history, but I should have known better. I actually knew it would be a lot of fun, but was worried that it wouldn't feel like Christmas. I have to say, it was a TON of fun, but by the time we sat down to watch TV at night, I did kind of forget it was Christmas.

a pre-gift shot

Without fail, Oli fell in love with all of Miles' toys

After gift opening and relaxing (i.e. playing video games. Oli got the xbox 360), we headed to our local Chinese restaurant to celebrate Christmas a la A Christmas story.

They didn't have a full duck (which is a good thing), but, since it is not strictly chinese food, they did have Tom Yum soup and sushi. Oli and Miles went traditional with sweet and sour chicken

But Mac, Tim, and I couldn't resist the Sushi.

Mac asked if we could do this every year. I'm not sure if a new tradition was born or not. But either way, it was a wonderful day!

And I Thought I Wasn't Running a Half Marathon Until the Spring...

 The sheer number of things to do before Christmas is enough to make the most patient person crazy. And the older the kids get, the more things get added to the list.In general, I make a concerted effort to not get stressed out. It is not the point of Christmas, and I refuse to let Christmas-related activities get me down. They are meant to be fun.

When I think about everything we have done in the last week, and what we still have to do, I am  amazed. Here is a look at our last week.

Even though I hate the snow, I couldn't help but love the view. Driving to Aunt Beth's for cookie making.

Aunt Amanda got in on the action.

On Sunday, we headed to Beth's house for our annual cookie making day. What started 8 years ago as a somewhat drunken, totally failed attempt at making Christmas cookies for our church's cookie walk has evolved into a pretty successful venture. This year, we stuck to store mixes with homemade buckeye's and had a successful turn out. I really got into the baking spirit this year, giving cookies to teachers and co-workers. In turn, I got two jars of homemade jamr. From now on, I think that homemade gifts are a great way to go!

In between activities, Miles keeps us really busy with his love for grabbing things off of the tree.

Cookie baking, again. This time, with church community group.

It wore sniper and Miles out.

My talented artist at her holiday concert on Wednesday!

More cookie making Wednesday night!

Homemade photo gifts!

My attempt at snacks for the kids' holiday parties. I got to go to Oli's party on Thursday.

Enjoying a gift card and a break on Saturday. Tim worked all day, so we all needed a night out :)

Sunday again! Starting the Christmas celebration at Tim's parents' house.

Looking forward to a fun-filled holiday week, and wishing everyone the same!